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Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as a role models. is that a positive or negative development.

Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as a role models. is that a positive or negative development. 3arNY
The people with age between 13-14 are considered as young. Researchers say that a number of youngsters are very ambitious and career oriented. And most of them are being influenced by famous people as they consider them as role model. The question rises that whether it is a positive or negative development. This essay argues that it can have both pros and cons. People in their teenage are very active and have ideal perceptions. This is the age where they explore the world to the fullest. A plethora of people who are young are being influenced by famous people, which can have either a good or sometimes bad impact on them. It depends on each individual personality. For instance, Michael Jackson is a American Singer, song writer and dancer. He is a perfect role model for every generation youngster. He was a great hard worker who never gave up on his dreams even after having many ups and downs. He influenced many other artists across different genres with various genres, concerts, and many other live performances. His style in moon walk is famous even today.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with age between 13-14
are considered
as young. Researchers say that a number of youngsters are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
ambitious and career oriented. And most of them are
being influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they consider them as role model. The question rises that whether it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development. This essay argues that it can have both pros and cons.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
in their teenage are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
active and have ideal perceptions. This is the age where they explore the world to the fullest. A plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are young are
being influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which can have either a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on them. It depends on each individual personality.
For instance
, Michael Jackson is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
American Singer, song writer and dancer. He is a perfect role model for every generation youngster. He was a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
worker who never gave up on his dreams even after having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ups and downs.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
He
influenced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other artists across
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genres with various genres, concerts, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
performances. His style in moon walk is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
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IELTS essay Young people are highly influenced by famous people and they look up to them as a role models. is that a positive or negative development.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
185 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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