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Young adults,nowadays are choosing high salary and careers instead of family and happiness.What problems can it cause? What solutions can you offer

Young adults, nowadays are choosing high salary and careers instead of family and happiness. What problems can it cause? What solutions can you offer lPyw
It is true that many adolescent have preferred more career and salary than family. Although, there will undoubtedly some negative consequences of this trend, steps can be taken to mitigate these potential problems. One more variable which is often known as a major cause is that the value of career and salary are higher than another sectors. It is predominantly due to that fact that they have worked out with money i n today's world including relationship between family members and happiness. In other words, not only strong chemistry but also advice can not supply a peaceful lifestyle for young family, it has caused to in sufficient money and without afford desire of children or wife from its necessity. Last but not least, in many fighting cases among family not enough or unsophisticated from everything namely eating, wearing and challenging Young adults of choice salary and careers are complex issue with no clear solutions. A number of solutions have been proposed to deal with this critical issue. Firstly, working and extended family should get a balance although everyone succeed in something. Secondly, many people for providing family have get used toworkig both parents when the longing is a dramatic increase period. Finally, everyone should learn to appreciative from everything resembling to health and continuing life. In conclusion, there are lots of benefits of better job with drawbacks. However a methodical approach is a useful tool for solving this problem.
It is true that
many
adolescent have preferred more career and salary than
family
. Although, there will
undoubtedly
some
negative
consequences of this trend, steps can
be taken
to mitigate these potential problems. One more variable which is
often
known as a major cause is that the value of career and salary are higher than another sectors. It is
predominantly
due to that fact that they have worked out with money i n
today
's world including relationship between
family
members and happiness.
In other words
, not
only
strong chemistry
but
also
advice can not supply a peaceful lifestyle for young
family
, it has caused to in sufficient money and without afford desire of children or wife from its necessity. Last
but
not least, in
many
fighting cases among
family
not
enough
or unsophisticated from everything
namely
eating, wearing and challenging Young adults of choice salary and careers are complex issue with no
clear
solutions. A number of solutions have
been proposed
to deal with this critical issue.
Firstly
, working and extended
family
should
get
a balance although everyone
succeed
in something.
Secondly
,
many
people
for providing
family
have
get
used
toworkig
both parents when the longing is a dramatic increase period.
Finally
, everyone should learn to appreciative from everything resembling to health and continuing life.
In conclusion
, there are lots of benefits of better job with drawbacks.
However
a methodical approach is a useful tool for solving this problem.
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IELTS essay Young adults, nowadays are choosing high salary and careers instead of family and happiness. What problems can it cause? What solutions can you offer

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
239 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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