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unemployment people in rural and urban areas

unemployment people in rural and urban areas 7Em6
The plotted line, comparatively, illustrates unqualified people condition in the year 2012. According to the pictorial representation, in the rural areas the first quarters which is 6. 5 %, and it was dropped in the second quarters of the year which is 4. 5%, and agin it rose in the third year and it is underwent fluctuations and reaching 5%. in the same way in the urban areas the starting it is 2%, it is slowly increasing in the second quarter it is 4% and some fluctuations reached 4% it is clearly evident from the given figure, that at the beginning of the period rural areas was the highest unemployment rate in comparison the urban areas least significant unqualified people. At the end of thee period both were reaching at the same percentage of employment and also the rural areas always highest in unployement condition and urban areas is the least in the un qualified people so most people educated in urban areas.
The plotted line,
comparatively
, illustrates unqualified
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people
condition in the year 2012.

According to the pictorial representation, in the rural
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areas
the
first
quarters which is 6. 5 %, and it
was dropped
in the second quarters of the year which is 4. 5%, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
agin
it rose in the third year and it is underwent fluctuations and reaching 5%.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
the same way in the
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
the starting it is 2%, it is
slowly
increasing in the second quarter it is 4% and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fluctuations reached 4%

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
clearly
evident from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
figure, that at the beginning of the period rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
was the highest unemployment rate
in comparison
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
least significant unqualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of thee period both were reaching at the same percentage of employment and
also
the rural
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areas
always highest in
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unployement
condition and
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urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the least in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
qualified
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
educated in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
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IELTS essay unemployment people in rural and urban areas

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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