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Young adults and their squandering money habits

Young adults and their squandering money habits kx5LW
Nowadays, it’s common to see the young people squander their money on keeping up with the latest trend, purchasing high-priced items to post on Instagram, Facebook. . . etc or even enjoying a lot of luxurious vacations which cost a fortune. Moreover, it’s not rare to see some youngsters chasing an affluent lifestyle regardless of their bad financial conditions. There are some reasons for this wasting- money habits. Thanks to the development of society, young people are now living in a peaceful world full of convenience and wealth. They now do not have to suffer from the miserable life as their ancestors did. So their squandering habits are easily understandable. In addition, the YOLO lifestyle ( You Only Live Once) has become a popular trend recently. A lot of young people unconditionally pursue this lifestyle which supports the opinion “After all, if you live only in the now, you do not have to worry about the tough tasks of saving money, investing, or making critical financial decisions for your future. ” Finally, the Internet and social media are absolutely the biggest reason for this habit. The Internet and social media have exposed the youngsters to large amounts of images of desirable costly lifestyles. This reason provokes young people to express themselves with the aim of proving their ability to afford the same lifestyles. However, in the long run, squandering money habits can lead them to adverse consequences. Following the wasting money habits on brand new items or some costly trend can drive them to bankruptcy after they have lost control of spending money. When some unexpected things occur, such as an accident, not saving money is exactly a bad choice. Especially in this Covid-19 pandemic, there are a great number of people, mostly young people are unable to make ends meet and have to receive subsidies from the government. Besides, when young adults become parents, they will be aware of why they should not waste money. There will be a lot of responsibilities that the young have to face and only when they experience it will they have another perspective on this issue. Their outlook on this issue is quite difficult to change at this age due to their too big ego. But in the long run, they might acknowledge their squandering habits and change them.
Nowadays, it’s common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
squander their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on keeping up with the latest trend, purchasing high-priced items to post on Instagram, Facebook.
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.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
or even enjoying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
luxurious vacations which cost a fortune.
Moreover
, it’s not rare to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters chasing an affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
regardless of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
financial conditions.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons for this wasting-
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
. Thanks to the development of society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
living in a peaceful world full of convenience and wealth. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suffer from the miserable life as their ancestors did.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
their squandering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
are
easily
understandable.
In addition
, the YOLO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Live
Once) has become a popular trend recently.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
unconditionally
pursue this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
which supports the opinion “
After all
, if you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, you do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about the tough tasks of saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, investing, or making critical financial decisions for your future. ”
Finally
, the Internet and social media are
absolutely
the biggest reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habit
. The Internet and social media have exposed the youngsters to large amounts of images of desirable costly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyles
. This reason provokes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to express themselves with the aim of proving their ability to afford the same lifestyles.

However
, in the long run, squandering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
can lead them to adverse consequences. Following the wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
on
'brand new' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "brand-new".
brand new
items or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
costly trend can drive them to bankruptcy after they have lost control of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
unexpected things occur, such as an accident, not saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is exactly a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
choice.
Especially
in this Covid-19 pandemic, there are a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
mostly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are unable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
receive subsidies from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Besides
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
adults become parents, they will be aware of why they should not waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. There will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibilities that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they experience it will they have another perspective on this issue.

Their outlook on this issue is quite difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
at this age due to their too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ego.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in the long run, they might acknowledge their squandering
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
them.
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IELTS essay Young adults and their squandering money habits

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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