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young adults aged 18 to 21 years old still receive a monthly allowance from their parents

young adults aged 18 to 21 years old still receive a monthly allowance from their parents mWAad
Some parents refuse to give their kids allowances, while others are still undecided to initiate the practice. In my opinion, I believe that young adults aged 18 to 21 years old still receive a monthly allowance from their parents because it teaches them on budget and saving their money towards a bigger goal. To begin with, giving allowance to young adults is one of the best ways to teach them the concept of budgeting. It is because it can help them be responsible and know when to spend or save their money. Furthermore, it will make the young adults think of finding a way to fit their monthly expenses into their budget if they spend all of their allowances without saving any money. In addition, they need to wait for the entire month until they have money again. For instance, the kids will need to restrict themselves from buying things that waste money like fashion accessories, games, and more. Therefore, it will teach them how to be independent and be grateful. For the second point, one of the benefits of giving allowances to young adults is that they can save some extra allowances towards a bigger goal. It is because they can use that extra money for their education in the future. However, some young adults have bigger visions. They use their savings allowance to buy stocks or company’s shares such as Apple shares or even Tesla shares for the long term. For example, teenagers nowadays save their monthly allowances and work together to start their own business. Besides, investing in long-term assets such as Gold and Bitcoin for the sake of their future. Therefore, it allows young adults to see very clearly and encourages them to strive for their goals for the sake of their future. In conclusion, I agree with the statement because of the two reasons which will teach them the concept of budgeting and saving their money towards a bigger goal. Guide them to learn the hard way now rather than overspending, which can lead to bad debt.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
parents refuse to give their kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowances
, while others are
still
undecided to initiate the practice. In my opinion, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
aged 18 to 21 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
still
receive a monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowance
from their parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaches
them on budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bigger
goal.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowance
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
is one of the best ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them the concept of budgeting. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them be responsible and know when to spend or save their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Furthermore
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of finding a way to fit their monthly expenses into their budget if they spend all of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowances
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, they need to wait for the entire month until they have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
again.
For instance
, the kids will need to restrict themselves from buying things that waste
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
like fashion accessories, games, and more.
Therefore
, it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them how to be independent and be grateful.

For the second point, one of the benefits of giving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowances
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
is that they can save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowances
towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bigger
goal. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their education in the future.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bigger
visions. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowance
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
stocks or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
’s shares such as Apple shares or even Tesla shares for the long term.
For example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
nowadays save their monthly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
allowances
and work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.
Besides
, investing in long-term assets such as Gold and Bitcoin for the sake of their future.
Therefore
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
clearly
and encourages them to strive for their goals for the sake of their future.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the two reasons which will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teach
them the concept of budgeting and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
towards a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bigger
goal. Guide them to learn the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
way
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
rather
than overspending, which can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
debt.
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IELTS essay young adults aged 18 to 21 years old still receive a monthly allowance from their parents

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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