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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram below shows the life cycle of the salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features. and make comparisons where relevant. v.20

The diagram below shows the life cycle of the salmon.
It is preferred by some people to live in the same place for their entire lifetime, however, others love to switch their living location time to time. In my opinion, it is beneficial to live in different places as it gives you the opportunity to explore different cultures. There are several reasons why some peoples, especially older generation does not like the idea of transferring their home from one location to another. One of the chief reasons is, they do not want to come out of their comfort zone. Mostly, when one person lives in a place for a long time, he forms a close friend circle with neighbours so leaving that area means leaving your friends behind so mere of thought of this stop them to transfer to their home. Another reason is, many people have a permanent Government job in a city or town, so they spend their whole lifetime in that city. On the other hand, few people, majorly youth love to explore different cultures, so they do not get attached with a single place or house. To illustrate, many of my colleagues keep taking transfer to different cities just because they love visiting new places. Living in different places is good because you get to learn languages and cultures and it is advantageous in this era of globalization. To state an example, one of my friends who had lived in Spain for 3 years, got to learn Spanish and now he got a new job where prerequisite was Spanish’s knowledge. In conclusion, I agree living in different places certainly have some downsides, but its advantages outweigh the disadvantages as you grow as a better person when you experience a variety of cultures.
It
is preferred
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for their entire lifetime,
however
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to switch their living location time to time. In my opinion, it is beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
as it gives you the opportunity to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures.

There are several reasons why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
,
especially
older generation does not like the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of transferring their home from one location to another. One of the chief reasons is, they do not want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
out of their comfort zone.
Mostly
, when one person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
for a long time, he forms a close friend circle with
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
leaving that area means leaving your friends behind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
mere of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
them to transfer to their home. Another reason is,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a permanent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
job in a city or town,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they spend their whole lifetime in that city.

On the other hand
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
majorly
youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attached with a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of my colleagues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
taking transfer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
visiting new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. Living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn languages and cultures and it is advantageous in this era of globalization. To state an example, one of my friends who had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in Spain for 3 years,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
to learn Spanish and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
a new job where prerequisite was Spanish’s knowledge.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
living in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
certainly
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
downsides,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
its advantages outweigh the disadvantages as you grow as a better person when you experience a variety of cultures.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The diagram below shows the life cycle of the salmon.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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