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You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation an v.17

You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation an v. 17
It is often debated whether people should plan for the future or simply live in the moment. In my opinion, both ways of living have their merits. Living in the present is a great way to beat stress. The past is gone and we can no longer change it. The future is uncertain and there is no way we can predict it. The present is what we have. By making the best use of the present we can enjoy each and every moment of life. This advice is particularly helpful for people who are suffering from terminal illness. Thinking about the uncertain future could be too agonizing and devastating for them. Hence, therapists often suggest that they should experience and focus on the present to reduce their pain. For instance, mindfulness is a form of therapy which guides patients to concentrate on the here and now. Being thankful to the family and friends and feeling blessed for the days that they have lived help the patients forget about the fears of death. People running the rat race also benefit from living in the now. It gives them a moment to take stock of what they have achieved so far. On the other hand, a little bit of planning is essential to secure our future. While tomorrow is uncertain, the truth is that the vast majority of us will live to seventy or eighty. Without some amount of planning, it is impossible to live a stress free life. For example, every one of us needs to save some money for our retirement. Likewise, planning is essential to have a clear goal in life. Without planning we are like a kite with a broken string. Planning is particularly helpful for young people. It enables them to set up goals and pursue them. What’s more, if we have already planned what we want to do with our lives, we will be able to make better use of our time and resources. To conclude, there are certainly some merits to living in the present; this, however, does not mean that planning is totally unnecessary. In my opinion, excessive planning should be avoided especially when it hampers our ability to enjoy the present. Even so, it is important for us to have a clear vision in life and it is impossible to achieve it without planning.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should plan for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
or
simply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
Did you mean "at the moment" (=currently)?
in the moment
. In my opinion, both ways of living have their merits.

Living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is a great way to beat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. The past is
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
gone and
we can no longer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
is uncertain and there is no way we can predict it.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
is what we have. By making the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
we can enjoy each and every moment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. This advice is
particularly
helpful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are suffering from terminal illness. Thinking about the uncertain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
could be too agonizing and devastating for them.
Hence
, therapists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
suggest that they should experience and focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their pain.
For instance
, mindfulness is a form of therapy which guides patients to concentrate on the here and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. Being thankful to the family and friends and feeling blessed for the days that they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the patients forget about the fears of death.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
running the rat race
also
benefit from living in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
. It gives them a moment to take stock of what they have achieved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far.

On the other hand
, a
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is essential to secure our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. While tomorrow is uncertain, the truth is that the vast majority of us will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
to seventy or eighty. Without
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
, it is impossible to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, every one of us needs to save
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
money for our retirement.
Likewise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is essential to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
goal in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
we are like a kite with a broken string.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Planning
is
particularly
helpful for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It enables them to set up goals and pursue them. What’s more, if we have already planned what we want to do with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, we will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of our time and resources.

To conclude
, there are
certainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits to living in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
; this,
however
, does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
is
totally
unnecessary. In my opinion, excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
should
be avoided
especially
when it hampers our ability to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
present
. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
vision in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and it is impossible to achieve it without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
planning
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay You would like to participate in a work-related seminar in another country. Write a letter to the person in charge of the seminar and ask for detailed information regarding the dates, program, accommodation an v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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