Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

You recently attended a forum organized by the District Health Department. At the forum, a health officer made the following statement: Today’s society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it. Write an essay expressing your opinion on the statement. Write at least 250 words.

You recently attended a forum organized by the District Health Department. At the forum, a health officer made the following statement: Today’s society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it. Write an essay expressing your opinion on the statement. PgMWB
In this era of globalisation, in spite of anvancements in the medical field. Society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine. In fact, modern society still uses herbs to treat aliments. In my humble opinion, I strongly disagree that society should not rely on traditional medicine because the traditional medicine not hygienic and can leads to serious side effect and source are very limited. There are few reasons for this. Homely traditional medicine is not hygience, can cause serious side effects and very limited. First and foremost, traditional medicine are not hygienic. This mean that the methods, tools, equipment and herbs used will harm the patients which is use the traditional medicine. In addition, some tools are used repeatedly for many years to produce medicine. Herbs are collected, not processed properly and may still contain toxins. Modern medicine is safer as it is prepared with better equipment and tested regularly. For example, the equipment like acupuncture which is may not be sterile after used. Therefore, traditional medicine which is not hygienically prepared may cause serious side effects or even death. Secondly, traditional medicine can cause serious side effects. This is because they can cause kidney and liver damage and heart attacks. Some are adulterated with steroids, pesticides, antibiotic or harmful metals. For instance, herbs are source of very potent toxins which can also react harmfully with other drugs. Moreover, these herbs can interact negatively with prescribed medication. Thus, despite their healing properties taking wrong herbs may worsen your symptoms and cause other side effects. Finally, sources to produce traditional medicine are very limited. The main reason for this is because forests is one of the main sources for herbs, roots and certain animals. Furthermore, they disappearing due to deforestation. For example, jungles are cleared to give way for development. Certain herbs become extinct and it is difficult to find replacements with similar properties. The public is cheated by charlatans. Hence, limited sources to produce traditional medicine can give chances of buying fake products. In conclusion, medicine cannot always cure us, but it can reduce our symptoms. Beside that, traditional medicine is called 'traditional' for a reason because it is outdated. It is not as effective as modern medicine.
In this era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
Possible spelling mistake found.
anvancements
in the medical field. Society
still
has a deep-rooted belief in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. In fact, modern society
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
to treat aliments. In my humble opinion, I
strongly
disagree that society should not rely on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
not hygienic and can
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
leads
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
side
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited. There are few reasons for this. Homely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
hygience
, can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
side effects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
are not hygienic. This mean that the methods, tools, equipment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
will harm the patients which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tools are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
repeatedly
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Herbs
are collected
, not processed
properly
and may
still
contain toxins. Modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is safer as it
is prepared
with better equipment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
regularly
.
For example
, the equipment like acupuncture which is may not be sterile after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
which is not
hygienically
prepared may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
side effects or even death.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
serious
side effects. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
kidney and liver damage and heart attacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are adulterated
with steroids, pesticides, antibiotic or harmful metals.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
potent toxins which can
also
react
harmfully
with other drugs.
Moreover
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
can interact
negatively
with prescribed medication.
Thus
, despite their healing properties taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
may worsen your symptoms and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
other side effects.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
limited. The main reason for this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
forests is one of the main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
, roots and certain animals.
Furthermore
,
Did you mean "they're disappearing", "they are disappearing", or "they were disappearing"?
they disappearing
due to deforestation.
For example
, jungles
are cleared
to give way for development. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
herbs
become extinct and it is difficult to find replacements with similar properties. The public
is cheated
by charlatans.
Hence
, limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sources
to produce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
can give chances of buying fake products.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
cannot always cure us,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
our symptoms. Beside that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
is called
'traditional' for a reason
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
is outdated
. It is not as effective as modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay You recently attended a forum organized by the District Health Department. At the forum, a health officer made the following statement: Today’s society still has a deep-rooted belief in traditional medicine and relies strongly on it. Write an essay expressing your opinion on the statement.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts