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You need to write a 4-paragraph essay on the family member you are proudest of. You can choose someone living or dead. You will be assessed on your organization of paragraphs.

You need to write a 4-paragraph essay on the family member you are proudest of. You can choose someone living or dead. You will be assessed on your organization of paragraphs. gx601

In my family, the person I am most proud of is my mother. Her name is Hang she is the youngest in her family, she is 47 years old and she has been living in Hanoi for 30 years. She is a short and responsible woman. She always fixes anything clearly and quickly, also she's very hilarious with her children, sometimes she is strict with us to make us better in the future. Her voice is very confident and serious so that when she started talking about something, everybody would listen to her. When she was a young woman, she was a good student in every subject, and a good daughter in her family won many awards in various subjects such as physics, math, . . . Moreover, she's a great mother for me and my brother, she always teaches us the lessons that the school has never taught, and a great daughter with her parents. I'm happy that I am the child of my mother. Furthermore, I'm very proud of her who is my great mother.

In my family, the person I am most proud of is my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmomparent
mother
. Her name is Hang she is the youngest in her family, she is 47 years Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).old, and
old and
 she has been living in Hanoi for 30 years.

She is a short and responsible woman. She always This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :rectifies
fixes
 anything clearly
 and quickly
, also
 she's This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 hilarious with her children, This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :in some instances
sometimes
 she is strict with us to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 us better in the future. Her voice is This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 confident and serious This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:consequently
so
 that when she This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :initiated
started
 talking about something, everybody would listen to her.

When she was a young woman, she was a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 student in every subject, and a This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
good
 daughter in her family won This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
many
 awards in various subjects such as physics, mathDid you just mean "," or "."?,.
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop.
.
Don't put a space before the full stop.
.
Moreover
, she's a great You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmomparent
mother
 for me and my brother, she always teaches us the lessons that the school has never taught, and a great daughter with her parents.

I'm happy that I am the child of my You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmomparent
mother
. Furthermore
, I'm This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:extremelyimmenselysupremelysuperb
very
 proud of her who is my great You use this word too often, consider replacing it withmomparent
mother
. 