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A builder did some repairs in your house recently and you are unhappy with their quality. Write a letter to the builder’s manager and explain: – What did they do? – Why do you think the quality is unacceptable? – Suggest a solution for the situation. v.1

A builder did some repairs in your house recently and you are unhappy with their quality. Write a letter to the builder’s manager and explain: – What did they do? – Why do you think the quality is unacceptable? – Suggest a solution for the situation. v. 1
Many think that, in contrast to the past, there is an increasing number of people who choose to have children later in life because of the changes in the roles of the individuals. In my opinion, the issue of bearing a child as older adults can bring more problems than its advantages. Admittedly, there are some benefits of having children in older age. Firstly, it establishes emotional stability for individuals to raise their own young ones. This is because of the fact that the older a person is, they also become more mature in decision making, especially those that parents use. Secondly, adults having children later in life can have more financial preparation. Needs such as education, food and shelter can be costly and so, parents who decide to have children later on will have the advantage of saving up more money and be prepared for the future. Nevertheless, I believe that, due to the changes in the roles of the individuals, having a child late in life can bring more drawbacks. One is that, because of women empowerment which allowed them to be employed, there are now delayed opportunities for most people having children at a younger age. This has caused fewer populations globally, which then could be a cause of human extinction in the years to come. Another problem of having kids at an older age is the increase in maternal deaths. Older pregnant women have higher tendency to develop pregnancy induced diseases, which can lead to reversible complications that could be detrimental to both mother and child. In conclusion, the negative effects of having children later in life are far heavier than the minor benefits that it could bring to the family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that,
in contrast
to the past, there is an increasing number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who choose to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the roles of the individuals. In my opinion, the issue of bearing a child as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
adults can bring more problems than its advantages.

Admittedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
age.
Firstly
, it establishes emotional stability for individuals to raise their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
young ones. This is
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "because".
because of the fact that
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
a person is, they
also
become more mature in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
,
especially
those that parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
.
Secondly
, adults
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can have more financial preparation. Needs such as education, food and shelter can be costly and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, parents who decide to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
on will have the advantage of saving up more money and
be prepared
for the future.

Nevertheless
, I believe that, due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the roles of the individuals,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
a child late in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
can bring more drawbacks. One is that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of women empowerment which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
them to
be employed
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
delayed opportunities for most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at a younger age. This has caused fewer populations globally, which then could be a cause of human extinction in the years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. Another problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
kids at an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
age is the increase in maternal deaths.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
pregnant women have higher tendency to develop pregnancy induced diseases, which can lead to reversible complications that could be detrimental to both mother and child.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
later
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
are far heavier than the minor benefits that it could bring to the family.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay A builder did some repairs in your house recently and you are unhappy with their quality. Write a letter to the builder’s manager and explain: – What did they do? – Why do you think the quality is unacceptable? – Suggest a solution for the situation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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