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INTEGRATED ESSAY. GRADED SYSTEM OF SCHOOL.

INTEGRATED ESSAY. GRADED SYSTEM OF SCHOOL. bYoD3
The lecturer addresses the graded school system not to be an ideal system, because the chronological grouping system does not support the equal level of maturity in all students in a same grade. Furthermore he discusses about the reasons of drop outs and the standardized tests, those are not appropriate for individual performances. First of all, the professor states that the age group of 5 or 6 for grade 1 that is the beginning of primary education, does not include children with equal maturities regarding social, mental and physical readiness for the school. Which comes up as a differen. . .
The lecturer addresses the graded school system not to be an ideal system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the chronological grouping system does not support the equal level of maturity in all students in a same grade.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
he
Did you mean simply "discusses the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discusses about the
reasons of
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
drop outs
and the standardized
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, those are not appropriate for individual performances.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the professor states that the age group of 5 or 6 for grade 1
that is
the beginning of primary education, does not include children with equal maturities regarding social, mental and physical readiness for the school.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up as a
Possible spelling mistake found.
differen
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.

IELTS essay INTEGRATED ESSAY. GRADED SYSTEM OF SCHOOL.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
101 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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