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You can enjoy playing a game only if you win. Do you agree or not?

You can enjoy playing a game only if you win. Do you agree or not? aAW9d
A game makes big impact in a person’s life, it teaches him who to win or if he lose the game of the life, than who to tackle with that situation. A sport man play his sport to win, and it should be his main motive. But some people like playing if they win, and I don’t agree with this statement. First of all, everyone like to playing games whether they are children or adults. Playing game is good for health, it also reduce the stress and make our mood fresh, and it the main for many people behind playing games. Another reasons is that by playing games people can learn something from it, while they made mistakes that’s why lose the game, and from that mistake they try to solve it for further game. For instance, if a person lose game then after he visualize that error he made in previous game and from there he try to find better solution for it, and from that mistake also he get new experience. Secondly, I believe participation in a game is important rather than winning it. It is not always important to win the game. If we even take part in games, we can learn lots of things. For example, if a student who is not taking part in any sport because of being afraid of losing a game, which is not a good thing. To conclude, l have perception that game played by sporting game spirit, active participation and tough competition is more essential than winning a game. Because of this view, I disagree that playing a game only for win, which is not the sign of true sport man.
A game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
impact in a person’s life, it teaches him who to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
or if he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "loses", "lost".
lose
the game of the life, than who to tackle with that situation. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
play his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
, and it should be his main motive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
, and I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, everyone like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
whether they are children or adults.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
game is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for health, it
also
Did you mean "reduces"?
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our mood fresh, and it the main for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Another reasons
You should probably use: "are".
is
that by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can learn something from it, while they made mistakes that’s why lose the game, and from that mistake they try to solve it for
further
game.
For instance
, if a person lose game then after he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "visualizes", "visualized".
visualize
that error he made in previous game and from there he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "tries", "tried".
try
to find better solution for it, and from that mistake
also
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "gets", "got".
get
new experience.

Secondly
, I believe participation in a game is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
rather
than winning it. It is not always
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
the game. If we even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, we can learn lots of things.
For example
, if a student who is not taking part in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of being afraid of losing a game, which is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing.

To conclude
, l have perception that game played by sporting game spirit, active participation and tough competition is more essential than winning a game.
Because of this
view, I disagree that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
a game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
win
, which is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
of true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
.
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IELTS essay You can enjoy playing a game only if you win. Do you agree or not?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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