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Technology?Advantage and his disadvantage ?

Technology? Advantage and his disadvantage? wxbrq
Technology means machinary and equipment which develop from the help of human's in his work. Technology makes work so, much easier. scientics develop large quantite of machinary for different uses like washing machine, micro vaves, refrigerater these all machinary are use for house works some machinary are develop for industry or fcatory uses. These machinary makes the work effertless and people do not need to doing hardwork. In busy schedule these machinary seems very benefisheal for us. In other hand, now days human replace with machinery and jobs will decrease. So, many people are free now and they have no work beacuse of this machineary. conclusion is that, machineary makees work easier but they also decrease the jobs opporunity.
Technology means
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machinary
and equipment which develop from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of human's in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, much easier.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
scientics
develop large
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quantite
of
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machinary
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
like washing machine, micro
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vaves
,
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refrigerater
these all
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machinary
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
use
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
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machinary
are
Consider using a past participle here: "developed".
develop
for industry or
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fcatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uses
. These
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machinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
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effertless
and
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people
do not need to doing
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hardwork
. In busy schedule these
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machinary
seems
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very
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benefisheal
for us. In other hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
days human replace with machinery and jobs will decrease.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are free
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
now and
they have no
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work
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beacuse
of this
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machineary
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
conclusion
is that,
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machineary
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "makes", the plural form of the noun 'make'?
makees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
also
decrease the jobs
Possible spelling mistake found.
opporunity
.
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IELTS essay Technology? Advantage and his disadvantage?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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