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In the modern world, mobile and smartphone use has become universal in most parts of the world. Although there are clearly many advantages of this technology, there are many who believe it also brings many disadvantages. Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

In the modern world, mobile and smartphone use has become universal in most parts of the world. Although there are clearly many advantages of this technology, there are many who believe it also brings many disadvantages. pRKWL
Over the last two decades almost everyone in the world has bought or used a mobile phone. With this technological development many people feel that there are a lot of advantages but others feel that there may be some disadvantages. Starting with the advantages, it is clear that using mobile phones makes life a lot more convenient. For example, it is possible to contact friends, colleagues and family in just a few seconds at any time of the day or from any location. Also, mobile phones can be used to access a wide variety of data applications such as Camille and social networking sites such as Twitter or Facebook. This is a benefit because people are able to interact on line at all times. Finally mobile phones give security and peace of mind to parents who are able to contact their children easily. On the other hand many people believe that there are some clear disadvantages. Firstly, mobiles can make people anti-social as they spend more time looking at their phone than at each other. Moreover, many people can become addicted to using smartphone apps, and this can have an effect on their mental and physical health such as their eyesight. It can also affect young people whose studies or work maybe affected by over use of their phones. In conclusion, although there are several negatives to using mobile phones, I believe that overall there are more benefits to be had from using these devices. As long as people remember to talk to each other face-to-face and parents control their children’s access to smartphone use, I believe there is no serious problem.
Over the last two decades almost everyone in the world has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. With this technological development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others feel that there may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages. Starting with the advantages, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life a lot more convenient.
For example
, it is possible to contact friends, colleagues and family in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a few seconds at any time of the day or from any location.
Also
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to access a wide variety of data applications such as Camille and social networking sites such as Twitter or Facebook. This is a benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to interact on line at all times.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
give security and peace of mind to parents who are able to contact their children
easily
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
disadvantages.
Firstly
, mobiles can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
anti-social as they spend more time looking at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
than at each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can become addicted to using smartphone apps, and this can have an effect on their mental and physical health such as their eyesight. It can
also
affect young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose studies or work maybe
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by over
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their phones.

In conclusion
, although there are several negatives to using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, I believe that
overall
there are more benefits to
be had
from using these devices. As long as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
remember to talk to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
face-to-face and parents control their children’s access to smartphone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
, I believe there is no serious problem.
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IELTS essay In the modern world, mobile and smartphone use has become universal in most parts of the world. Although there are clearly many advantages of this technology, there are many who believe it also brings many disadvantages.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
272 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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