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In modern, cohabitation is considered a new trend among couples. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

In modern, cohabitation is considered a new trend among couples. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages? g5WdO
Today there are many couples living together before marriage. This kind of relationship may end up with success and or failure. I think that the disadvantages of cohabitation are more than the benefits. Firstly cohabitation affects people’s freedom. Before living together, people can do everything what they want such as hang out at night or overnight. However, when living together, a person usually thinks about partner and reduce many social activities. They must spend time doing housework. Secondly, cohabitation is not a permanent relationship. Because there is no legal and both of family commitment. In some cases during the course of time they feel fed up with each other. Both of people also understand too much about partners. They do not find out attraction. Therefore, breaking-up is normal. Thirdly, living together is dangerous as it could lead to unwanted pregnancy. That makes couple experience psychological crisis and it affects their finance, studying or working. Finally, cohabitation couple is often exposed to high rate of divorce because of living together, they understand each others. It is the reason why they find out many inappropriate problems. In addition, a number of people using cohabitation to exploit sexual or economic conditions. All of them certainly lead to unexpected results. In conclusion, for many reasons, in my opinion cohabitation has a great deal of disadvantages. Before deciding to live together, people should think thoroughly.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
couples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
marriage. This kind of relationship may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with success and or failure. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the disadvantages of cohabitation are more than the benefits.

Firstly
cohabitation affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
freedom.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can do everything what they want such as hang out at night or overnight.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together, a person
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
about partner and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
social activities. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend time doing housework.
Secondly
, cohabitation is not a permanent relationship.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
there is no legal and both of family commitment. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases during the course of time they feel fed up with each other. Both of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
also
understand too much about partners. They do not find out attraction.
Therefore
, breaking-up is normal.
Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as it could lead to unwanted pregnancy. That
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
couple experience psychological crisis and it affects their finance, studying or working.
Finally
, cohabitation couple is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exposed to high rate of divorce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
together, they understand each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. It is the reason why they find out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
inappropriate problems.
In addition
, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using cohabitation to exploit sexual or economic conditions. All of them
certainly
lead to unexpected results.

In conclusion
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons, in my opinion cohabitation has a great deal of disadvantages.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Before
deciding to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
thoroughly
.
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IELTS essay In modern, cohabitation is considered a new trend among couples. Do you think its advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
230 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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