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you agree or disagree that selecting the job that is similar to their parent’s job is the right choice?

you agree or disagree that selecting the job that is similar to their parent’s job is the right choice? 85JBB
It is irrefutable that we live in a world in which job plays an increasingly pivotal role in human life. For someone for his future career arouses much controversy among people with different perspective and background. Nowadays some may hold the opinion that selecting the job that are similar to their parent’s job is the right choose. Other may have negative attitude toward As for as I am concerned, I firmly agree with choose a job that it is differ from the families job makes people. My argument for this point are listed as follows In the first place, the most important reason for me to choose this position is that favor is the critical aspect of any success in ones future life. When someone wants to start any job, the elementary propulsion for him or her to keeping that job is that they like do in another world without favor. It’s impossible for anyone to obtain any triumph in the oncoming time, as well as it will be regarded as wasting time and makes people to receive a big failure. For example, my father is an mechanical engineer, I remembered that when I was in high school the time students must take their major future in the university, he suggest me to select his major but I very liked chemistry and I had lack of interest to his major. When I look myself and ask was it the right selection I definitely say yes and now I am doing my study in my favorite major in chemistry, polymer chemistry and I feel I will be successful person in the near future. So the favor acts a fundamental factor in the consent emotion in any person. In the second place, talent is an intrinsic ability in all humans. When you ask someone that has not any talent in that work, no one will catch any progress. On top of that it may cause to irrecoverable damages. For instance, take an artist as an example. He wants his son to continue his job, but his son has no any talent in that job. His father put him in diverse classes but there isn’t any vivid results. I think it makes his son to accept the fact that he has no ability in his future life, in another word he considers this as a very bad memory in his mind. So the critical aspect that must be notice along with many other factors. In conclusion taking account all of these factors. I conclude that there are two important factor that must be notice for parents that want children keep on their job. Firstly, the favor is the crucial factor for progress in that job. Second talent is the intrinsic ability that is ambient and special for everyone.
It is irrefutable that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a world in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
plays an
increasingly
pivotal role in human life. For someone for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
career arouses much controversy among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspective and background. Nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may hold the opinion that selecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that are similar to their parent’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is the right choose. Other may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitude
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
toward


As for as I
am concerned
, I
firmly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
that it is
Consider using a past participle here: "differed".
differ
from the families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. My argument for this point
are listed
as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
follows


In the
first
place, the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reason for me to choose this position is that favor is the critical aspect of any success in ones
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life. When someone wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, the elementary propulsion for him or her to keeping that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is that they like do in another world without favor.

It’s impossible for anyone to obtain any triumph in the oncoming time,
as well
as it will
be regarded
as wasting time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to receive a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
failure.
For example
, my father is
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
mechanical engineer, I remembered that when I was in high school the time students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
in the university, he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "suggests", "suggested".
suggest
me to select his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
liked chemistry and I had lack of interest to his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
. When I look myself and ask was it the right selection I definitely say yes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
I am doing my study in my favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
in chemistry, polymer chemistry and I feel I will be successful person in the near
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the favor acts a fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
in the consent emotion in any person.

In the second place,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is an intrinsic ability in all humans. When you ask someone that has not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in that work, no one will catch any progress.
On top of that
it may cause to irrecoverable damages.
For instance
, take an artist as an example. He wants his son to continue his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his son has
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. His father put him in diverse classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there isn’t any vivid results. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
his son to accept the fact that he has no ability in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
life, in another word he considers this as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
memory in his mind.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the critical aspect that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be notice along with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other factors.

In conclusion
taking account all of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
. I conclude that there are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "factors"?
factor
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be notice for parents that want children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Firstly
, the favor is the crucial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
for progress in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
talent
is the intrinsic ability
that is
ambient and special for everyone.
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IELTS essay you agree or disagree that selecting the job that is similar to their parent’s job is the right choice?

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
465 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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