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TPO 27Take a job position or wait to find better job

TPO 27Take a job position or wait to find better job jRQry
Nowadays it is commonly accepted that the people should not miss their job opportunities in order to find a better position. Contrary to this belief there are still those who argue that the people should be patient for finding an appropriate job position which satisfies them. However, I, to a great extent, agree with this idea that people should try to make any job opportunities satisfying rather than waiting for a good job. The first aspect to point out is that people can promote easily in their jobs. If people try to do the best in their jobs they can get higher position in a short time. Companies, todays, try to evaluate their employees in order to find the strong people and use them for the critical positions. Each employee in each company has this opportunity to make his job condition satisfying. Therefore, it is more logical to attend in a job and focus on development instead sleeping in home and waiting for a better job. Anyone cannot be successful in his life and reach to his goal by waiting for a suitable job from God. Another significant point which should be taken into consideration that there is not any job worldwide which propose a satisfying condition at first. The salaries are very low at the first but they have the possibilities for increasing. People by working hard in their companies can attract the attention of their bosses and ask them everything they want. The higher level of management position and higher amount of income only can be reached by working in harsh condition for a while. Finally yet importantly, waiting for a pleasant job position may not result the finding better one and only waste the time. Now, people can find every available jobs in the websites very fast, so if they cannot find a satisfying job they should change their perspectives and try to reduce their expectation. If they become biased in this process, they only kill the opportunities and time. Therefore, starting from lower level jobs should be a better option. For example, a person who waits to find a management position in the big companies never can find it since these positions are only be proposed to people who have more than five years relevant experiences. Indeed, some people from the heart of these companies get these high level jobs. On the basis on the point which are mentioned above I convinced that the people can have better job condition if they only take a position and try to promote it in the future. The more opportunities in the heart of companies are available and waiting only kill the time since any job does not have satisfying condition at first.
Nowadays it is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not miss their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
. Contrary to this belief there are
still
those who argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be patient for finding an appropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
which satisfies them.
However
, I, to a great extent,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfying
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waiting
for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
job.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
aspect to point out is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can promote
easily
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to do the best in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in a short
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Companies
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
, try to evaluate their employees in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the strong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them for the critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. Each employee in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
has this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunity
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfying
.
Therefore
, it is more logical to attend in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and focus on development
instead
sleeping in home and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waiting
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. Anyone cannot be successful in his life and reach to his goal by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waiting
for a suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
from God.

Another significant point which should
be taken
into consideration that there is not any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
worldwide which propose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
. The salaries are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
low at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they have the possibilities for increasing.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
can attract the attention of their bosses and ask them everything they want. The higher level of management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and higher amount of income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
can
be reached
by working in harsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
for a while.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
yet
importantly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waiting
for a pleasant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
may not result the finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
one and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
waste the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
every available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the websites
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
if they cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their perspectives and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their expectation. If they become biased in this process, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, starting from lower level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
option.
For example
, a person who waits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
never can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
be proposed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have more than five years relevant experiences.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from the heart of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these high level jobs.

On the basis on the point which
are mentioned
above I convinced that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
if they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and try to promote it in the future. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opportunities
in the heart of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are available and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
waiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
kill the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
since any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
does not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
first
.
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IELTS essay TPO 27Take a job position or wait to find better job

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
454 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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