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are you agree or disagree that companies should pay for education employees

are you agree or disagree that companies should pay for education employees 9LYm0
Having education and literacy is one of the most important factors in every society. Because of to possess the high level of education creates different advantages in societies. Such as having up level of culture and nice social conducts. Along with progression in variety basic science like medicine and economic are ensued of level society educations. About this theory that companies should pay for education employees I disagree with that and I will state my idea by two reasons: The first I believe universities give defect information about different fields to students. Even sometimes the majority of instructions that teach aren’t necessarily for the genuine workplace and subsequently, when people enter to work environment they often have no enough expertise for their tasks. For instance when I was a bachelor student and I came to a factory for the first time as an apprentice. Even I didn’t know the accurate name of laboratory tools. While I was a good student in my course degree. The second place, on the other hand, if expenses of employee education spend for encourage them, it may be more effective on their endeavor to enhance their ability. In fact instead of education in university which necessarily can’t be effective for strengthening abilities of employees if the employees have enough motivation and they are encouraged by the award and promote degree. To create a new space for attempt and compete employees. All of they in competition space can achieve to valuable experience that it’s not obtained in any university just by reading books. Consequently, I believe pay for education employee isn’t good idea because the universities course often give not ample information for vocations and true experience are achieved in the workplace, not into the books. And along with spend expenses for practical teaching course and to make competition between employees are more effective for improving their expertise and abilities.
Having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and literacy is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors in every society.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of to possess the high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
advantages in societies. Such as having up level of culture and nice social conducts. Along with progression in variety basic science like medicine and economic
are ensued
of level society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educations
. About this theory that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
should pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
I disagree with that and I will state my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
by two reasons:

The
first
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
give defect information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
fields to students. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the majority of instructions that teach aren’t
necessarily
for the genuine workplace and
subsequently
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
enter to work environment they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
expertise for their tasks.
For instance
when I was a bachelor student and I came to a factory for the
first
time as an apprentice. Even I didn’t know the accurate name of laboratory tools.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
I was a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
student in my course degree.

The second place,
on the other hand
, if expenses of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
spend for encourage them, it may be more effective on their endeavor to enhance their ability. In fact
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
which
necessarily
can’t be effective for strengthening abilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
motivation and
they
are encouraged
by the award and promote degree. To create a new space for attempt and compete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
. All of they in competition space can achieve to valuable experience that it’s not obtained in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
by reading books.

Consequently
, I believe pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
isn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
course
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give not ample information for vocations and true experience
are achieved
in the workplace, not into the books. And along with spend expenses for practical teaching course and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
competition between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are more effective for improving their expertise and abilities.
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IELTS essay are you agree or disagree that companies should pay for education employees

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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