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Wrting9-test2 talk about it

Wrting9-test2 talk about it b3Rql
Some people say that volunteering must be added in high school curriculum. Such as working for charity. in my opinion, I disagree that voluntary works should be included in as it would brings many problems for school and students. A good reason to show that these extra programs are not good to be added is that it could put extra financial pressure for school’s financial resources. In other words, taking a new course will need more money and if school’s faculty want to include these courses such as voluntary job in their programs, then they should whether give extra money from student’s parents or omitting other study programs which might affect on students learning and leading to many difficulties. Another point to consider is that having this non-important part in high school schedule means that students would be wasting their time. Actually, many subjects exist in one school programs that students should be concentrated on them. For example, In my country, Iran, many pupils have a big deal with some essential skills such as mathematics or physics. They, therefore, should focus on those and secondary school planners need to put some extra courses to make this skills better rather that voluntary jobs. In conclusione, some redundant programs as unpaid community services is an unnecessary subject that doesn’t need to include in school curriculum because of some issues that effect one school’s budget and students time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that volunteering
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum. Such as working for charity.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
my opinion, I disagree that voluntary works should
be included
in as it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "bring"
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
and students.

A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reason to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
is that it could put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
financial pressure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
financial resources.
In other words
, taking a new course will need more money and if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
faculty want to include these courses such as voluntary job in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
, then they
Please check whether a verb is missing here.
should whether
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
money from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
parents or omitting other study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
which might
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning and leading to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties.

Another point to consider is that having this non-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in high
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
schedule means that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would be wasting their time. Actually,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects exist in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be concentrated
on them.
For example
, In my country, Iran,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as mathematics or physics. They,
therefore
, should focus on those and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
planners need to put
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
extra
courses to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Did you mean "these"?
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
better
rather
that voluntary jobs.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclusione
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
redundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
programs
as unpaid community services is an unnecessary subject that doesn’t need to include in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
issues that effect one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school’s
budget and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
time.
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IELTS essay Wrting9-test2 talk about it

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
235 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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