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Writing writing writing weight wiri wise elements

Writing writing writing weight wiri wise elements klL2
It is commonly expected that one would possess a job which is personally satisfactory and highly paid. However, the two factors may not always come together in one profession. When a black-or-white decision has to be made, this essay argues that internal satisfaction outweighs financial incentives and provides reason for this. First of all, occupational contentment gives people a sense of fulfillment that money can hardly offer. Although some people are highly paid, they may find it difficult to enjoy their life in the workplace if they have to work under pressure. In contrast, pursuing one’s interests can potentially bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction. For example, marine scientists make their career choice not because of attractive wages, but because they are passionate about discovery. Secondly, when people are doing what they like which keeps them motivated and enthusiastic, they are likely to succeed in their career path. This is due to the fact that those who love their jobs can easily excel in their field of work and achieve better results. In other words, there is a strong association between job satisfaction and quality of work. Despite the fact that challenges may visit them from time to time, those driven by intrinsic motivation to work can overcome them easily. In conclusion, this essay expresses an argument against the provided statement for two important reasons: fulfillment leading to happiness and motivation leading to success. Therefore, when any decision has to be made between these two life-sustaining factors, it is crucial to be reminded that one lives to make an impact, not an income.
It is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that one would possess a job which is
personally
satisfactory and
highly
paid.
However
, the two factors may not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together in one profession. When a black-or-white decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be made
, this essay argues that internal satisfaction outweighs financial incentives and provides reason for this.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, occupational contentment gives
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of fulfillment that money can hardly offer. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
highly
paid, they may find it difficult to enjoy their life in the workplace if they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
under pressure.
In contrast
, pursuing one’s interests can
potentially
bring pleasure and a feeling of satisfaction.
For example
, marine scientists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their career choice not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of attractive wages,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are passionate about discovery.

Secondly
, when
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are doing what they like which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
them motivated and enthusiastic, they are likely to succeed in their career path.
This is due to the fact that
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their jobs can
easily
excel in their field of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and achieve better results.
In other words
, there is a strong association between job satisfaction and quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. Despite the fact that challenges may visit them from time to time, those driven by intrinsic motivation to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
can overcome them
easily
.

In conclusion
, this essay expresses an argument against the provided statement for two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
reasons: fulfillment leading to happiness and motivation leading to success.
Therefore
, when any decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be made
between these two life-sustaining factors, it is crucial to
be reminded
that one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an impact, not an income.

IELTS essay Writing writing writing weight wiri wise elements

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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