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Writing the famous person

Writing the famous person MrROo
I had a chance to see Helen Keller’s life on youtube thanks to the teacher of homework, it is so meaningful to me. Firstly, she was born in 1880 years with her father was Arthur Keller and her mother was Kate Adams Keller. Unfortunately, she had been blind and mute so Helen struggles with countless difficulties. When she was a kid, everyone always saw her as a burden or far away from her. Secondly, her family has invited a teacher so that teach Helen, this is Sullivan. However, people thought that Helen couldn’t learn because it was impossible but Helen had step changed her life. Consequently, Sullivan’s enthusiasm helped Helen without dark in life and she learn the alphabet on her hand. Thirdly, Helen was very smart and talented so she has gained achievements in life. Such as, Helen Keller graduated from Radcliffe College with a Bachelor of Art and became a world-famous advocate for social equality. In short, Helen was a genius person with published work consisting of: “Cau chuyen ve cuoc doi, the gioi toi dang song and ton giao cua toi…. “. So her lifelong dedication of good cause made everbody admired.
I had a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
Helen Keller’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
thanks to the teacher of homework, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
meaningful to me.
Firstly
, she
was born
in 1880 years with her father was Arthur Keller and her mother was Kate Adams Keller. Unfortunately, she had been blind and mute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Helen struggles with countless difficulties. When she was a kid, everyone always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
her as a burden or far away from her.
Secondly
, her family has invited a teacher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that teach Helen, this is Sullivan.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that Helen couldn’t learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it was impossible
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Helen had step
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Consequently
, Sullivan’s enthusiasm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
Helen without dark in
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "learns", "learned", "learnt".
learn
the alphabet on her hand.
Thirdly
, Helen was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart and talented
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
she has gained achievements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Such as, Helen Keller graduated from Radcliffe College with a Bachelor of Art and became a world-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
advocate for social equality. In short, Helen was a genius person with published work consisting of: “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Cau
Possible spelling mistake found.
chuyen
ve
Possible spelling mistake found.
cuoc
Possible spelling mistake found.
doi
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
gioi
Possible spelling mistake found.
toi
dang song and ton
Possible spelling mistake found.
giao
Possible spelling mistake found.
cua
Possible spelling mistake found.
toi
…. “.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
her lifelong dedication of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
cause made
Possible spelling mistake found.
everbody
admired.
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IELTS essay Writing the famous person

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
195 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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