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Writing task 2 : some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activities , others , however , feel that human activities mak it a better to live in discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion

Writing task 2: some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activities, others, however, feel that human activities mak it a better to live in discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion y2pP
In this modern era, we are living in the advanced of technology and science that has been tremendous in entire world by human civilization. This improved make better for our daily life and make a better place to live at once. Nonetheless, this progress makes our earth being harmed by human activity. Unconsciously, this will deprive the future generations of its natural beauty and other critical resources, and put our life in peril by overlooking our mistakes. In this essay, I would like to give my opinion about this argument. First and foremost, we live in recent years that many people have capability of purchasing their own vehicles because of improvement of quality of life. Automatically, this can increase the number of vehicles in the road that have negative impact such as the air pollution in everywhere that cause by vehicles and industrial fumes. For instantly in Jakarta as capital city of Indonesia has many buildings and also has air pollution is quite worse because of vehicles fumes. Air pollution is worse enough to cause poor health for the people who live there, especially if the green areas not found there, the dangerous impact of air pollution is unavoidable. Furthermore, for several reasons, the people did not hesitate to cut down trees illegally. Indirectly, they takes away of people’s life. Because of cutting down trees, tree roots cannot hold the soil and adsorb water when the rain came. This has often resulted in flash floods in each area that lacks a green area such as in Jakarta which has little green areas often experience major flooding in every year. Similar in Borneo in Indonesia, many communities are often cut down trees illegally that make deforestation also devastates the living environment of animals affecting to the diversity. In my view, people should minimize the bad influences on the Earth with considering carefully before doing something and protect the human life as well as possible. Writing task 2: some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activities, others, however, feel that human activities mak it a better to live in discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion
In this modern era, we are living in
The phrase 'the advanced of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'the' and 'of'.
the advanced of
technology and science that has been tremendous in entire world by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
civilization. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
better for our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a better place to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
at once. Nonetheless, this progress
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
our earth
being harmed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activity.
Unconsciously
, this will deprive the future generations of its natural beauty and other critical resources, and put our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in peril by overlooking our mistakes. In this essay, I would like to give my opinion about this argument.

First
and foremost, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in recent years that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have capability of purchasing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of improvement of quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Automatically
, this can increase the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
in the road that have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
in everywhere that cause by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
and industrial fumes. For
instantly
in Jakarta as capital city of Indonesia has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
buildings and
also
has
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is quite worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
fumes.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cause poor health for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
there,
especially
if the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
not found there, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is unavoidable.

Furthermore
, for several reasons, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not hesitate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
illegally
.
Indirectly
, they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "take"
takes
away of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of cutting down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
roots cannot hold the soil and adsorb water when the rain came. This has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
resulted in flash floods in each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
that lacks a green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
such as in Jakarta which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
experience major flooding in every year. Similar in Borneo in Indonesia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
illegally
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
deforestation
also
devastates the living environment of animals affecting to the diversity.

In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should minimize the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influences on the Earth with considering
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
doing something and protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as well
as possible. Writing task 2:
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the earth is
being harmed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities, others,
however
, feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
mak it
a better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in discuss both these points of view and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
opinion
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IELTS essay Writing task 2: some people believe that the earth is being harmed by human activities, others, however, feel that human activities mak it a better to live in discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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