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Writing task 2 , films in mobiles vs cinema theatre

Writing task 2, films in mobiles vs cinema theatre 0l1BO
Films have always been and still are the stuff of fantasy while a cinema theatre has been the stage for experiencing its magic. In today's time, however, this 'stage' seems to have taken different forms. Some think that one need not go to a cinema to enjoy a movie as we can watch it on our digital devices while others beg to differ and still hold the magical experience of a cinema theatre close to their hearts. In this essay, we will look at both points of view and derive our opinion. Let us first look at the uniqueness of a cinema theatre. It is essentially a building that is equipped in every way to provide an exclusive and unique experience that attempts to tingle one's senses and focus one's attention for a few hours at a screen. Such is the isolation that the audience is wrapped in the sights and sounds of the film and is able to disconnect from the outside world and live a dream along with the protagonist. It is akin to experiencing serenity for a few magical hours amid the chaos of life. On the other side, one must consider one important aspect of the group that prefers to view films on their mobile devices. These are usually young professionals who have limited time to spend and are usually on the go. For such a group, the gratification they derive from watching a film is not very different from that of going to a cinema. Furthermore, there are several on-line entertainment streaming services with a range of films on offer for a fraction of the cost of going to the theatre. It is no surprise that the younger generation happens to naturally gravitate to their mobile devices. To sum up, while it is clear that a cinema offers an isolated atmosphere to experience a film, it demands a higher cost in terms of time and money. Watching films on mobile devices, on the other hand, are cheaper owing to streaming services and tend to gratify the need to be entertained on the go. My opinion sides with watching a film in a cinema as the experience of isolation from the outside world is important to truly enjoy a movie in all its glory and that, to me, is worth the few hours and money as compared to a mobile device in a crowded bus.
Films have always been and
still
are the stuff of fantasy while a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
has been the stage for experiencing its magic. In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's time,
however
, this 'stage' seems to have taken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that one need not go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
to enjoy a movie as we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it on our digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
while others beg to differ and
still
hold the magical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
close to their hearts. In this essay, we will look at both points of view and derive our opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us
first
look at the uniqueness of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. It is
essentially
a building that
is equipped
in every way to provide an exclusive and unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
that attempts to tingle one's senses and focus one's attention for a few hours at a screen. Such is the isolation that the audience
is wrapped
in the sights and sounds of the film and is able to disconnect from the outside world and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
a dream along with the protagonist. It is akin to
Did you mean "experience"?
experiencing
serenity for a few magical hours amid the chaos of life.

On the other side, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect of the group that prefers to view films on their mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
. These are
usually
young professionals who have limited time to spend and are
usually
on the go. For such a group, the gratification they derive from watching a film is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from that of going to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
.
Furthermore
, there are several on-line entertainment streaming services with a range of films on offer for a fraction of the cost of going to the
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
. It is no surprise that the younger generation happens to
naturally
gravitate to their mobile devices.

To sum up, while it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
offers an isolated atmosphere to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
a film, it demands a higher cost in terms of time and money. Watching films on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
,
on the other hand
, are cheaper owing to streaming services and tend to gratify the need to
be entertained
on the go. My opinion sides with watching a film in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cinema
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of isolation from the outside world is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
truly
enjoy a movie in all its glory and that, to me, is worth the few hours and money as compared to a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
in a crowded bus.
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IELTS essay Writing task 2, films in mobiles vs cinema theatre

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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