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What are some effects of children’s viewing violence on TV?

What are some effects of children’s viewing violence on TV? 0l1mO
It is obvious that some effects of children’s viewing violence on TV has drawn great attention from the public these day. Actually, the issue mentioned has orginated from a variety of different effects. Therefore the following composition is to explan the most important reasons of the issue presented. The first reason relates to the fact that children are infected with violent habits from movies. The first reason relates to the fact that children are infected with violent habits from movies. Because children don't distinguish between cinematic effects and fiction, they think everything in the movie that is real. For example, my neighbor's son watches superhero movies everyday. He often imitates and quarrels with his friends because he thinks he is a hero who saves humanity. Besides children are easy to put themselves in a movie character, they will always truly think that is real life. Violent action scenes, imaginary scenes ingrained in children's minds to make children immersed. The second reason is that children’s viewing violence on TV affects daily activities. Violent activities will be ingrained in children's minds, so their actions are also affected. Children will be more inclined to use violence to solve a problem than usual. Children’s viewing violence on TV always want to use force or use weapons to fight back instead of they will choose to make peace. For instance, The final reason is that children’s viewing violence on TV is easy for children to have neurological problems. In other words, movies tend to be violent on TV that influences the brains of young children. One study found that many actions of violence hurt children; moreover, violent movie effects have a huge impact on the nervous system. For example, an episode of the cartoon Pikachu was banned because the light effect in the film caused a large number of children to be hospitalized and show signs of epilepsy. In conclusion, as previously presented, there are important reasons for some of the effects of children’s viewing violence on TV nowadays. There are significant factors explaining why children infected with violent habits from movies have their daily activities affected, and it is easy for them to have neurological problems. Personally, I think that, in children, it is up to the parents to teach them what is acceptable and what is not, and the difference between right and wrong, and to know that being aggressive or violent is never the solution.
It is obvious that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on TV has drawn great attention from the public
Did you mean "this day" or "these days"?
these day
. Actually, the issue mentioned has
Possible spelling mistake found.
orginated
from a variety of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
effects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
the following composition is to
Possible spelling mistake found.
explan
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
of the issue presented. The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
relates to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are infected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
habits from movies.

The
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
relates to the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are infected
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
habits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
don't distinguish between cinematic effects and fiction, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
everything in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
that is
real.
For example
, my neighbor's son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
superhero
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
'Everyday' is an adjective. Did you mean "every day"?
everyday
. He
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
imitates and quarrels with his friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
he is a hero who saves humanity.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Besides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are easy to put themselves in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
character, they will always
truly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that is
real life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violent
action scenes, imaginary scenes ingrained in children's minds to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
immersed.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on TV affects daily activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Violent
activities will
be ingrained
in children's minds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
their actions are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will be more inclined to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
to solve a problem than usual.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on TV always want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
force or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
weapons to fight back
instead
of they will choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
peace.
For instance
,

The final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on TV is easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have neurological problems.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
tend to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
on TV that influences the brains of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. One study found that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
actions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
hurt
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
;
moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movie
effects have a huge impact on the nervous system.
For example
, an episode of the cartoon Pikachu
was banned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the light
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
in the film caused
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
be hospitalized
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
signs of epilepsy.
In conclusion
, as previously presented, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
for
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
viewing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violence
on TV nowadays. There are significant factors explaining why children infected with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
habits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
have their daily activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, and it is easy for them to have neurological problems.
Personally
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, it is up to the parents to teach them what is acceptable and what is not, and the difference between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, and to know that being aggressive or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
violent
is never the solution.
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IELTS essay What are some effects of children’s viewing violence on TV?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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