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Writing, reading and mathematics are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

Writing, reading and mathematics are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent v. 2
Taking a glance at the education system of many countries, it can be seen that writing, reading and mathematics are fundamental subjects in the training program. However, over the past few years, residents have recommended that these subjects should stay parallel with computer skills. Personally, I totally agree with this statement and this essay will analyze this issue using specific reasons to demonstrate point and prove argument. First and foremost, individuals in favor of computer skills because of the essential role it plays in our daily life. Indeed, stepping into the 21st century, when state-of-the-art innovation dominate almost industries, computers become indispensible to control machines, regulate automatic processes, as well as research and inventing artificial intelligence. This rising ubiquity makes computer a basic factor of present days’ industry, leading to a heated demand on exploring and adapting to information technology. Therefore, education, the mission of which is fulfilling society’s scholastic needs, should deem computer science as the fourth fundamental subject. Second, it is widely recognized that computer-related skills are beneficial for the future recruitment. Indeed, it can be seen that employers do not conceal from their candidates several requirements such as typing a number of texts in a specific time, preparing a professional presentation, or designing an attractive poster. Therefore, the more well-acquainted they get with computer, the greater likely they are to have an engaging job. Thus, it is safe to say that equipping a comprehensive array of computer skills for students, schools are more likely to contribute well-qualified employees to the workforce, which build up their reputation and a firm competitiveness. In brief, the basic approach of computer skills should be encouraged at school because of the huge number of benefits it can bring about.
Taking a glance at the education system of
many
countries, it can be
seen
that writing, reading and mathematics are fundamental subjects in the training program.
However
, over the past few years, residents have recommended that these subjects should stay parallel with computer
skills
.
Personally
, I
totally
agree
with this statement and this essay will analyze this issue using specific reasons to demonstrate point and prove argument.

First
and foremost, individuals in favor of computer
skills
because
of the essential role it plays in our daily life.
Indeed
, stepping into the 21st century, when state-of-the-art innovation dominate almost industries, computers become
indispensible
to control machines, regulate automatic processes,
as well
as research and inventing artificial intelligence. This rising ubiquity
makes
computer a basic factor of present days’ industry, leading to a heated demand on exploring and adapting to information technology.
Therefore
, education, the mission of which is fulfilling society’s scholastic needs, should deem computer science as the fourth fundamental subject.

Second, it is
widely
recognized that computer-related
skills
are beneficial for the future recruitment.
Indeed
, it can be
seen
that employers do not conceal from their candidates several requirements such as typing a number of texts in a specific time, preparing a professional presentation, or designing an attractive poster.
Therefore
, the more well-acquainted they
get
with computer, the greater likely they are to have an engaging job.
Thus
, it is safe to say that equipping a comprehensive array of computer
skills
for students, schools are more likely to contribute well-qualified employees to the workforce, which build up their reputation and a firm competitiveness.

In brief
, the basic approach of computer
skills
should
be encouraged
at school
because
of the huge number of benefits it can bring about.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Writing, reading and mathematics are the three major subjects. Some people think that computer skills should be added as a fourth subject. What extent v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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