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Writing about our experience for following up the competition.

Writing about our experience for following up the competition. xxJL1
Search for Meaning Fajar Julian Santosa (Indonesia: Age 23 years) “Living life with not being yourself is not easy. However, from there I found the meaning of life. ” Five years ago, was the news of my graduation from high school in my city, Indonesia. It’s time for me to take it to the next level. I tried to apply to several campuses with majors that really my favorite, but it’s failed. In the end, I was able to pass the selection but got into a major in which I was not my favorite. At that time, my father advised, "You run this first, who knows this is your sustenance. If for example, you cannot stand it, you can take part in the selection again next year". I tried to live it half-heartedly, pursuing studies that really were not my thing. I like to live life by not being myself. I don’t want to keep thinking about it, always disappointed. In this department, I feel I have more free time. I started to fill my spare time by participating in several activities on campus, and more participating in scientific forums. I find this an interesting thing, doing research, writing articles, and publishing them at scientific conferences. From then on, I tried to do my first research in a team. Unexpectedly, I was able to present it in a scientific forum and got the best paper winner. I became more and more interested in the world of research. In fact, I hope to become a researcher with the title of professor. Things that have never been thought of before. From the research, it turns out to be able to take me around my country, and I can feel the first time I boarded a plane. Really, it was beautiful at the time. I also had time to visit countries in Asia such as Malaysia, South Korea, Macau, Singapore, and Taiwan to participate in scientific forums held in those countries. Not only that but I was also chosen to be an outstanding student on campus. Things that I do not necessarily get if I used to enter the majors that I am very interested in. I tried to reflections about this. Was there something wrong with me before? Why can't I achieve my wish? Why can I achieve everything here, right now? Through these reflections, I concluded that all this time God was testing me, was directing me. If I can achieve what I want, maybe I am not here to achieve everything here. "God did not give me what I hoped for, but more than that. God is giving what is best for me. " Sorry, realized it too late. Many other things happened to me until I fell and was able to get back up. I always try to take meaning from an event in my life. With this too, I became a human who has a more definite purpose in life. I gained knowledge so that I can live happily and smile every day. I keep myself always grateful. Grateful for whatever happens in my life and whatever I am getting, even if it’s just a little. There is a story 'Jerry Long' from a book I once read, composed by Viktor F. Frankl. Jerry Long was diagnosed by doctors with paralysis from the neck down due to an accident at the age of 17 years. Currently, Long can use a mouth stick to type. He spends his time reading, writing, and watching television. One of his writings that touched me: "I view my life as full of meaning and purpose. I may break my neck, but it will not break my life. I believe that the physical disability I have will increase my ability to help others. Without suffering, I wouldn’t be able to thrive. " Reflection, especially for myself to always be grateful and excited in undergoing life's tests. So, if I were to ask, what does life mean to you? I’ll answer with the best conclusion. My life must have meaning, both for myself and those around me. And those meanings are what I’m looking for in every journey of my life. And the best way to make sense of life is to always be grateful, no matter what.
Search for Meaning

Possible spelling mistake found.
Fajar
Julian
Possible spelling mistake found.
Santosa
(Indonesia: Age 23 years)

“Living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
with not being yourself is not easy.
However
, from there I found the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. ”

Five years ago, was the news of my graduation from high school in my city, Indonesia. It’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for me to take it to the
next
level. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tried
to apply to several campuses with majors that
really
my favorite,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it’s failed. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to pass the selection
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
into a major in which I was not my favorite. At that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, my father advised,
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
You run this
first
, who knows this is your sustenance. If
for example
, you cannot stand it, you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in the selection again
next
year
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tried
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
it half-
heartedly
, pursuing studies that
really
were not my thing. I like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
by not being myself.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
I
don’t want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
thinking about it, always disappointed. In this department, I feel I have more free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to fill my spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by participating in several activities on campus, and more participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
forums. I find this an interesting thing, doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, writing articles, and publishing them at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
conferences. From then on, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tried
to do my
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
in a team.
Unexpectedly
, I was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to present it in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
forum and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
paper winner.

I became more and more interested in the world of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. In fact, I hope to become a researcher with the title of professor. Things that have never been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. From the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
, it turns out to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to take me around my country, and I can feel the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
I boarded a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
.
Really
, it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. I
also
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to visit countries in Asia such as Malaysia, South Korea, Macau, Singapore, and Taiwan to participate in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
forums held in those countries. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I was
also
chosen to be an outstanding student on campus. Things that I do not
necessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
if I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enter the majors that I am
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interested in.

I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tried
to reflections about this.

Was there something
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
with me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
?

Why can't I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
my wish?

Why can I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
everything here, right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
?

Through these reflections, I concluded that all this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
God was testing me, was directing me. If I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
what I want, maybe I am not here to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
everything here.

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
God did not give me what I hoped for,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
more than that. God is giving what is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
for me.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"


Sorry, realized it too late.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
other things happened to me until I fell and was
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
back up. I always try to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
from an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. With this too, I became a human who has a more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
purpose in life.

I gained knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
and smile every day. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
myself always
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grateful
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Grateful
for whatever happens in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and whatever I am getting, even if it’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
.

There is a story 'Jerry Long' from a book I once read, composed by Viktor F.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frankl
. Jerry Long
was diagnosed
by doctors with paralysis from the neck down due to an accident at the age of 17 years.
Currently
, Long can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mouth stick to type. He spends his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reading, writing, and watching television. One of his writings that touched me:

Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I view my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
as full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
and purpose. I may break my neck,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will not break my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. I believe that the physical disability I have will increase my ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others. Without suffering, I wouldn’t be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
able
to thrive.
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"


Reflection,
especially
for myself to
The adverb 'always' usually goes after the verb 'be'.
always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grateful
and excited in undergoing life's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if I were to ask, what does
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
mean to you?

I’ll answer with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
conclusion. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meaning
, both for myself and those around me. And those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meanings
are what I’m looking for in every journey of my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sense of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is to always be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
grateful
, no matter what.
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IELTS essay Writing about our experience for following up the competition.

Essay
  American English
17 paragraphs
713 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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