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people should be avoided from eating sugary products

people should be avoided from eating sugary products 0pqYn
It is irrefutable true that Sugar consumption is seen more in some eatable products and leads to many heath hassles. It is thought that to avoid people from taking too much sugar the price should be inflated of sugary products. I strongly disagree with this viewpoint. To begin with, first and foremost reason is that the idea of increasing the product containing more sugar would not prevent people from consuming sugary things because it is often seen that if people are prevented from doing anything they will do it more until it is not told to them why they are being discouraged from eating sugary products. In India, For example, the price of diesel and petrol are skyrocketing with each passing day even then mass use both of them as they used to use it before despite increase in price. Moreover, people, sometimes follow their taste buds even if there is increase in price. Secondly, rather than increasing the price the awareness should be heightened by telling the people about ill effects of consuming the products carrying more sugar. People should be made aware with the help of campaigns and furthermore free books can be distributed to people to make the conscious about heath issues. For instance, welfare organization can be established. Thirdly, their must be some regulatory bodies which can monitor the level of sugar while eatable products are being produced in the factories. In conclusion, the idea of raising the price of sugary thing would not deliver fruitful result so efforts should be made on generating awareness regarding heath issues stemming from eating products having too much sugar.
It is irrefutable true that
Sugar
consumption is
seen
more in
some
eatable
products
and leads to
many
heath hassles. It is
thought
that to avoid
people
from taking too much
sugar
the
price
should
be inflated
of
sugary
products
. I
strongly
disagree with this viewpoint.

To
begin
with,
first
and foremost reason is that the
idea
of increasing the
product
containing more
sugar
would not
prevent
people
from consuming
sugary
things
because
it is
often
seen
that if
people
are
prevented
from doing anything they will do it more until it is not
told
to them
why they are
being discouraged
from eating
sugary
products
. In India,
For example
, the
price
of diesel and petrol are skyrocketing with each passing day even then mass
use
both of them as they
used
to
use
it
before
despite increase in
price
.
Moreover
,
people
,
sometimes
follow their taste buds even if there is increase in price.

Secondly
,
rather
than increasing the
price
the awareness should
be heightened
by telling the
people
about ill effects of consuming the
products
carrying more
sugar
.
People
should
be made
aware with the
help
of campaigns and
furthermore
free books can
be distributed
to
people
to
make
the conscious about heath issues.
For instance
, welfare organization can
be established
.
Thirdly
, their
must
be
some
regulatory bodies which can monitor the level of
sugar
while eatable
products
are
being produced
in the factories.

In conclusion
, the
idea
of raising the
price
of
sugary
thing would not deliver fruitful result
so
efforts should
be made
on generating awareness regarding heath issues stemming from eating
products
having too much
sugar
.
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IELTS essay people should be avoided from eating sugary products

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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