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advantages or disadvantages of computer games

advantages or disadvantages of computer games Q2NPX
Nowadays there is a hot discussion about playing computer games. People created two sides for this problem. In this essay I will consider advantages and disadvantages of the mentioned resolution. One of the first advantages is training fingers while pressing the keyboard or gamepad. This would mean people who play computer games have better motor hand skills than others. Another benefit would be improved critical thinking. That means game developers create many puzzles for players and gamers are trying to solve the difficulties by using their mind. The last advantage is relaxing. Relaxing in a game means playing games without focusing on what is going on. Nevertheless, there are drawbacks to this. One of the huge disadvantages is the loss of vision. While a child is losing time in games his visual accuracy focuses on close objects after that eyes get used to objects close to them. Another disadvantage is problems with speech. That means childs with games have their own society and he doesn’t think about increasing vocabulary, because he has his own world in a small box. To conclude, although that hobby has certain disadvantages, computer games are the future. I believe that these benefits of games outweigh its drawbacks.
Nowadays there is a hot discussion about playing computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
created two sides for this problem. In this essay I will consider advantages and disadvantages of the mentioned resolution.

One of the
first
advantages is training fingers while pressing the keyboard or
Possible spelling mistake found.
gamepad
. This would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mean
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who play computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have better motor hand
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
than others. Another benefit would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
critical thinking. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
game developers create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
puzzles for players and gamers are trying to solve the difficulties by using their mind. The last advantage is relaxing. Relaxing in a game
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means
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
without focusing on what is going on.

Nevertheless
, there are drawbacks to this. One of the huge disadvantages is the loss of vision. While a child is losing time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
his visual accuracy focuses on close objects after that eyes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to objects close to them. Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disadvantage
is problems with speech. That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
means
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
he doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about increasing vocabulary,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he has his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
world in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
box.

To conclude
, although that hobby has certain disadvantages, computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are the future. I believe that these benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
outweigh its drawbacks.
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IELTS essay advantages or disadvantages of computer games

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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