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writimg abt essay study abroad

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Back in the days, students had a tendency to study at some of the universities in their home country. However, they now have many more options regarding where to find that knowledge, and it is becoming increasingly popular to study abroad. The benefits and downsides of this development will be analyzed and discussed in this essay. Certainly, there are numerous advantages to studying in different countries. Many students chose to do this because they know that a particular university, for instance, Harvard Business school, has an excellent reputation. Graduating from here, they believe, will increase their chances of securing a decent position in a company back home. Students studying abroad also have the opportunity to form friendships with people of various nationalities, which in time, may develop into useful professional networks. Thus, better skills development and an enlarged circle of contacts are some of the merits of acquiring a degree in foreign countries. Nonetheless, the experience of studying abroad is not always a positive one. For example, recent empirical research by the US government reported that a small percentage of young people struggle to adapt to their new environment and suffer from severe cultural shock. Some of them may face mental problems because of the suffering of loneliness, and the situation can become worse if the student is not mature enough to cope with themselves. Therefore, studying in another country is potentially disadvantageous as it may lead to the occurrence of mental diseases such as depression among international students. In conclusion, having more opportunities for studying in a foreign country is a positive trend overall. This is due to the fact that people who study abroad can gain benefits in terms of academic abilities and international connections. However, as it can be mentally challenging, an open mind is the key to a good experience at a foreign university.
Back in the days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had a tendency to study at
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
universities in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more options regarding where to find that knowledge, and it is becoming
increasingly
popular to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
. The benefits and downsides of this development will
be analyzed
and discussed in this essay.

Certainly
, there are numerous advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
chose to do this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they know that a particular university,
for instance
, Harvard Business school, has an excellent reputation. Graduating from here, they believe, will increase their chances of securing a decent position in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
back home.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
also
have the opportunity to form friendships with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of various nationalities, which in time, may develop into useful professional networks.
Thus
, better
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
development and an enlarged circle of contacts
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
merits of acquiring a degree in foreign countries.

Nonetheless, the experience of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is not always a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
one.
For example
, recent empirical research by the US
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
reported that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
percentage of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
struggle to adapt to their new environment and suffer from severe cultural shock.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them may face mental problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the suffering of loneliness, and the situation can become worse if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is not mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to cope with themselves.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is
potentially
disadvantageous as it may lead to the occurrence of mental diseases such as depression among international students.

In conclusion
, having more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend
overall
.
This is due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
can gain benefits in terms of academic abilities and international connections.
However
, as it can be mentally challenging, an open mind is the key to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
experience at a foreign university.
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IELTS essay writimg abt essay study abroad

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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