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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. BXm6
People tend to have different views on whether or not sharing is really caring to freely giving out information on scientific research, business or the academic world. Although they are two sides to a coin, i believe information should be freely given. Many of the developments that have been made upto this point were accomplished by people who too believed that there is no "I" in teamwork and shared their ideas with their colleagues to achieve their goals. For instance, the wright brothers who came up with the aeroplane. Due to their teamwork we are able to easily travel from one end of the world to another within hours. This development has also made e-commerce more efficient and thus businesses in different parts of the world can thrive from aiding each other. Furthermore, through scientific research ideas being shared, these scientists are able to share the glory as well as the money which they would have made when their thesis has been proven. This is the case for nano-technology which has been widely used for lens in glasses. This development has not only improved sight for short sighted people but the scientists who came up with the idea have also benefitted from sales of the glasses they came up with. However, on the other hand some people are selfish and sharing of ideas could lead to the whole idea being stolen if developed and proven. In such a case selling of an idea sounds good as it would hurt less, being paid for all the effort that lead to the idea even if it was only half done. Overally, freely sharing of information has lead to more developments that have benefitted both the inventers as well as the users of the invention and therefore i firmly believe that sharing of information should be free.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
tend to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
is
really
caring to
freely
giving out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on scientific research, business or the academic world. Although they are two sides to a coin,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be
freely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
that have
been made
Possible spelling mistake found.
upto
this point
were accomplished
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who too believed that there is no
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
I
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
in teamwork and shared their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
with their colleagues to achieve their goals.
For instance
, the wright brothers who came up with the
Possible spelling mistake. 'aeroplane' is British English.
aeroplane
. Due to their teamwork we are able to
easily
travel from one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the world to another within hours. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has
also
made e-commerce more efficient and
thus
businesses in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of the world can thrive from aiding each other.

Furthermore
, through scientific research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
being shared
, these scientists are able to share the glory
as well
as the money which they would have made when their thesis has
been proven
. This is the case for
Possible spelling mistake found.
nano-technology
which has been
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for lens in glasses. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
sight for
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
short sighted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the scientists who came up with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
have
also
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
from sales of the glasses they came up with.

However
,
on the other hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are selfish and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideas
could lead to the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
being stolen
if developed and proven. In such a case selling of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
sounds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as it would hurt less,
being paid
for all the effort that lead to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
even if it was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
half done.

Possible spelling mistake found.
Overally
,
freely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
has lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developments
that have
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
both the
Possible spelling mistake found.
inventers
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the users of the invention and
therefore
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sharing
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should be free.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
304 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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