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write the story shown in the picture

write the story shown in the picture mWXk1
One day, they went to the shop to bought glasses. They went to the beach to play volleyball. Finally, they ready to play but have a wind blow the ball up. And they very surprise. One day, they went to the shop to bought glasses. They went to the beach to play volleyball. Finally, they ready to play but have a wind blow the ball up. And they very surprise. One day, they went to the shop to bought glasses. They went to the beach to play volleyball. Finally, they ready to play but have a wind blow the ball up. And they very surprise.
One day, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
glasses. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the beach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
volleyball.
Finally
, they ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a wind blow the ball up. And they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprise. One day, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
glasses. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the beach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
volleyball.
Finally
, they ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a wind blow the ball up. And they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprise.

One day, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the shop to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
glasses. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
went
to the beach to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
volleyball.
Finally
, they ready to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
have a wind blow the ball up. And they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
surprise.
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IELTS essay write the story shown in the picture

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
105 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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