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write drawbacks and benefits of city life( drawbacks more)

write drawbacks and benefits of city life( drawbacks more) Xym9g
In the modern society, some people like to live in a city area where they can approach the progress of science and high technology but going along with the development and benefits; there are more drawbacks of living in the city than we expect. On one hand, city life is believed to have significantly various advantages. The most important point for the demand is that all services are easily found in the urban area. Such as most of schools, hospitals, banks are often situated in the city center so the city dwellers can get these services with shorter time than the others. A further point is that there are lots of working opportunities in the commercial area; therefore, people can easily get any suitable jobs and live on them. On the other hand, living in the city also has ill effects. What can be seen first is high cost of living. In big cities, salaries are higher than in rural areas, but this lead to a higher cost of living as well so they don’t have too much savings. For example, people can have variety chances to get jobs in restaurants, factories, hotels because they turn up in every corner of big cities so people can live on them but can’t be rich by these jobs because they have to spend money on different things in their lives. Furthermore, the rate of crime is higher than in the countryside. People are more tempted to rob lead to damage, burglaries and vandalism. Another point worth noting is the noise level in major cities. Cities have more people and more traffic that contribute to the noise pollution. For instance, the roads are full of motorbikes, cars, taxis, and bikes which increase the overall noise level. Apart from the above mentioned significant disadvantages, there are other problems also persist in the city such as: lack of space, lack of parking, lack of privacy… In a nutshell, city life has both benefits and drawbacks so everyone should take consideration before deciding where to live.
In the modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
where they can approach the progress of science and high technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
going along with the development and benefits; there are more drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city than we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
.

On one hand, city life
is believed
to have
significantly
various advantages. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
point for the demand is that all services are
easily
found in the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Such as
After 'most of', you should use 'the' ("most of the schools") or simply say "most schools".
most of schools
, hospitals, banks are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
situated in the city center
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the city dwellers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
these services with shorter time than the others. A
further
point is that there are lots of working opportunities in the commercial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any suitable jobs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on them.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city
also
has ill effects. What can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
first
is high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
, salaries are higher than in rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this lead to a higher cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
as well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they don’t have too
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
savings.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can have variety chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs in restaurants, factories, hotels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they turn up in every corner of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
on them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
can’t be rich by these jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend money on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
things in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
.
Furthermore
, the rate of crime is higher than in the countryside.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are more tempted to rob lead to damage, burglaries and vandalism. Another point worth noting is the noise level in major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cities
have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and more traffic that contribute to the noise pollution.
For instance
, the roads are full of motorbikes, cars, taxis, and bikes which increase the
overall
noise level. Apart from the above mentioned significant disadvantages, there are other problems
also
persist in the city such as: lack of space, lack of parking, lack of privacy…

In a nutshell, city life has both benefits and drawbacks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone should take consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding where to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
.
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IELTS essay write drawbacks and benefits of city life( drawbacks more)

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
340 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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