Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it positive or a negative development?

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it positive or a negative development? 7Pmn6
People often have various working ethics, some are known to be extremely hardworking, with a defined path and great progress. Others, however, might have a much poorer work ethic, this applies to slightly lazy people whose main goals are not associated with their work or education. I think this is mainly because people tend to have different goals in life, and some live in a different environment to others. One reason as to why many people are often hard workers, is because of high competition among their peers or colleagues. In schools, for example, people often compete between one another for the highest grades and better achievements. Universities favor students with excellent grades, which is why many pupils strive for perfection. This also translates into the workplace where staff work to gain higher positions in the business. Additionally, some people come from poorer backgrounds, which means that they need to work extra hard to achieve their aspirations and thereby create a better life for themselves. On the other hand, people who were born into wealth do not necessarily have to be hard workers, as they already have money and likely good connections in the world. However, it is also important to remember that hard work does not always pay off. We live in a complicated world and our success cannot be controlled by us only, as much as people would love to be the ones in control of their life, decisions often fall into the hands of strangers. Luck is an important factor in gaining what you want. People always see those few musicians who get onto talent shows and get discovered by large musical producers, kick starting their careers. But there are millions of other musicians who might be working just as hard, but simply did not get as lucky as their counterparts. Moreover, networking is also part of what defines success, with good connections in whatever field you are trying to develop in you are automatically at an advantage to others, as your connections might help you get what you want. In conclusion, I think that the ability to be a hard worker is an important quality, which may pay off in the long run, however it is not the only factor which determines success, and sometimes our fate is uncontrollable to us.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have various working ethics,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
are known
to be
extremely


hardworking, with a defined path and great progress. Others,
however
, might have a

much poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
ethic, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
applies to
slightly
lazy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
whose main goals are not

associated with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or education. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to

have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
goals in life, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment to others.

One reason as to why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
workers, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high

competition among their peers or colleagues. In schools,
for example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often


compete between one another for the highest grades and better achievements.

Universities favor students with excellent grades, which is why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pupils strive for

perfection. This
also
translates into the workplace where staff
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
to gain higher

positions in the business.
Additionally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from poorer backgrounds,

which means that they need to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
to achieve their aspirations and thereby

create a better life for themselves.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
were born
into

wealth do not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
workers, as they already have money and

likely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
connections in the world.

However
, it is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to remember that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
does not always pay off. We

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a complicated world and our success cannot
be controlled
by us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
, as much

as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to be the ones in control of their life, decisions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fall into the

hands of strangers. Luck is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor in gaining what you want.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People


always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those few musicians who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
onto talent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
discovered by

large musical producers,
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
kick starting
their careers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are millions of other

musicians who might be working
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
simply
did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
as lucky as their

counterparts.
Moreover
, networking is
also
part of what defines success, with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good


connections in whatever field you are trying to develop in you are
automatically
at an

advantage to others, as your connections might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what you want.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the ability to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hard
worker is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
quality, which

may pay off in the long run,
however
it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
factor which determines success,

and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
our fate is uncontrollable to us.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
385 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    Some online shops are frauds
    Even though the majority of online shops are legit, there are still some websites that claim to be online stores while instead, they are a kind of fraud. Sometimes the items delivered may not have the exact quality as they were displayed on the website and you might just lose your money in case you ...
  • 5.5band
    west of England statement
    In the past two years, the pandemic has had a complex impact on many aspects of global industry. My reminiscent childhood dream come up with the questions, “Is this a challenge to come up with a solution which could help with the current unprecedented phenomena? How has the pandemic changed the indi...
  • 6band
    Behavior in school is getting worse. Explain the cause and effects of this problem. Suggest some remedies also.
    t is vehemently claimed that in recent times children behaviour is getting bad in school. This essay will canvas both the causes and effects of this problem and some remedies also. To commence with nowadays parents have no time to give moral values to their children due to their hactic schedule. To...
  • 5.5band
    Some People Think That Men Are Naturally More Competitive Than Women
    In this concurrent world, it is undoubtedly true that everyone has a same ability to do tasks women as well as men. some people concur that males has naturally better competitive rather than female. However I quibble from them and propound that it is not depends on gender. It is depends on willpower...
  • 5.5band
    Working for long hours is going to become a trend in individual nowadays. advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages.
    IIt can be generally seen that people extract short time for spare time activities and concentrate more on their business and work for long hours. Albet I agree with the statement yet there are also some disadvantage of this trend which I intend to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with t...
  • 5.5band
    People spend long hours on their workers ites. do you think advantages of it outweigh the disadvantages
    It can be generally seen that people extract short time for spare time activities and concentrate more on their business and work for long hours. Albet I agree with the statement yet there are also some disadvantage of this trend which I intend to discuss in the upcoming paragraphs. To begin with th...





Get more results for topic:
  • In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it positive or a negative development?