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Write an essay in which you discuss the advantages of using technology in the business world.

Write an essay in which you discuss the advantages of using technology in the business world. KGjd9
Technology influence in almost all parts of our lives, and business no exception. Many business sectors tend to use technology efficiently in order to increase their turnover. So that technology usage in the business environment provides a great number of advantages such as unlimited working places and ability of sell their products around the world for their business owners and also their customers. This essay will enlighten that this situation offer a huge number benefits. One of the biggest advantages that technology offers unlimited working places as well as hours. Many company prefer run their business as an online. Since they don’t have to pay rent, they don’t need a workplace. This situation provide profit for their owner in the long un. An obvious example of this that my homemate works in a accounting firm. It prefer to run its business online. My friend is so plased this situation as well his company, because he don’t have to use public transportation in order to go to his work. Another benefit that even many small businesses can sell their product to a variety of customer that live in all over the world thanks to technology. For instance, my friend live in Canada. She run her own e-bay account. When she finish her paintings (canvas), she upload on the e-bay and she can earn money easily. All in all, technology offers numerous advantages to business sector, as well as another fields. I personally believe that many employer should remain to use of technology. Because when examine the most successful companies, we can obviously see that they are use a lot of technological tools.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
influence in almost all parts of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
no exception.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
sectors tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
efficiently
in order to increase their turnover.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
usage in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
environment provides a great number of advantages such as unlimited working places and ability of sell their products around the world for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
owners and
also
their customers. This essay will enlighten that this situation offer a huge number benefits.

One of the biggest advantages that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offers unlimited working places
as well
as hours.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
prefer run their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
as
Probably a noun is missing in this part of the sentence.
an online
. Since they don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay rent, they don’t need a workplace.
The verb 'provide' is plural. Did you mean: "This situation provides"? Did you use a verb instead of a noun?
This situation provide
profit for their owner in the long
Possible spelling mistake found.
un
. An obvious example of this that my
Possible spelling mistake found.
homemate
works in
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
accounting firm. It
Did you mean "prefers"?
prefer
to run its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
online. My friend is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Possible spelling mistake found.
plased
this situation
as well
his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "doesn’t", "didn’t".
don’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation in order to go to his work.

Another benefit that even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can sell their product to a variety of customer that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in all over the world thanks to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For instance
, my friend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in Canada. She run her
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
e-bay account. When she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "finishes", "finished".
finish
her paintings (canvas), she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uploads", "uploaded".
upload
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
e-bay and
she can earn money
easily
.

All in all,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
offers numerous advantages to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
sector,
as well
as another fields. I
personally
believe that
Possible agreement error. The noun employer seems to be countable; consider using: "many employers".
many employer
should remain to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
when examine the most successful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, we can
obviously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
technological tools.
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IELTS essay Write an essay in which you discuss the advantages of using technology in the business world.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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