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People think it is important to do activities in leisure time such as reading and puzzles. Others think, rest of mind is important for people. Discuss both views and your opinion.

People think it is important to do activities in leisure time such as reading and puzzles. Others think, rest of mind is important for people. Gln2e
It is thought by a section of society that, in the spare time, people should do multiple activities like reading as well as puzzles. Whereas, opponents belief revolves around the thought that, rest in leisure time is imperative for human beings. I will examine both views previously reaching a concrete decision in the forthcoming paragraphs. To embark with, there are number of benefits of doing activities in free time. The prominent one is ameliorating learning skill also mental ability of persons. To exemplify, through reading several valuable books, articles, documentaries, and magazines, individuals can improve their language skill and on the top of that, they can get information and knowledge about every aspect. Moreover, everyone has any kind of talent and nation can flourish those talents through preparing them in unoccupied time. To elaborate, persons who want to become professional dancers, they should do dance practice on daily basis especially in free time. Therefore, in this way, people can get success by utilize their leisure time in befitting way. On the other hand, society will face any jeopardy regarding health without taking proper rest. In unused time, rest of mind is indispensable for human beings due to plethora of reasons. To kick off, in contemporary era, peoplehave numerous strain on mind in light of the fact that, of their busy schedule. Consequently, community should take rest with the view to alleviate mental trauma. In addition, vacation is immensely useful for relaxation, freshness, and get energy-efficient for next work. For instance, a report indicates that, more than the half margin of individuals become more capable to do next work with more energy, when they take rest in leisure time. In conclusion, without a doubt, rest is beneficial for mind. However, in my humble opinion, people should do activities and play sort of games in spare time for staying fit and healthy life.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
by a section of society that, in the spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should do multiple activities like reading
as well
as puzzles. Whereas, opponents belief revolves around the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is imperative for human beings. I will examine both views previously reaching a concrete decision in the forthcoming paragraphs.

To embark with, there are number of benefits of doing activities in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. The prominent one is ameliorating learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
also
mental ability of persons. To exemplify, through reading several valuable books, articles, documentaries, and magazines, individuals can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their language
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and on the top of that, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information and knowledge about every aspect.
Moreover
, everyone has any kind of talent and nation can flourish those talents through preparing them in unoccupied
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. To elaborate, persons who want to become professional dancers, they should do dance practice on daily basis
especially
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, in this way,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
success by utilize their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in befitting way.

On the other hand
, society will face any jeopardy regarding health without taking proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
. In unused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
of mind is indispensable for human beings due to plethora of reasons. To kick off, in contemporary era,
Possible spelling mistake found.
peoplehave
numerous strain on mind in light of the fact that, of their busy schedule.
Consequently
, community should take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
with the view to alleviate mental trauma.
In addition
, vacation is
immensely
useful for relaxation, freshness, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
energy-efficient for
next
work.
For instance
, a report indicates that, more than the half margin of individuals become more capable to do
next
work with more energy, when they take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
in leisure time.

In conclusion
, without a doubt,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rest
is beneficial for mind.
However
, in my humble opinion,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should do activities and play sort of games in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for staying fit and healthy life.

IELTS essay People think it is important to do activities in leisure time such as reading and puzzles. Others think, rest of mind is important for people.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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