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Many people believe that TV news and media in general have a determinable effect on our life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Many people believe that TV news and media in general have a determinable effect on our life. 0pGK9
Nowadays, if you are looking for information, you go for TV news or media, So many humans except that the TV news and media have an adverse effect on our daily routine. I completely agreed that the most news and media have an adverse effect on our daily lifestyle. Firstly, in the 21st century, everyone have an access to the internet and can upload any fake news. Furthermore, the people are believing this news and this put a wrong impression on them. The national TV news channel are getting purchased by the ruling Party leaders, so they cannot speak against their government. The public is getting fooled by the government which is elected by them in the past. Secondly, If we talked about the media they are showing mature content like murder theft rape drugs, violence to the teenagers, who will going to be the future of a Nation. However, the teenager are tender bird birds of the society. They grasp these things first, they act like gangsters and started doing drugs. Moreover, if their parents scolded them for their unusual behavior. They started speaking at a high volume in front of them, the government and the parents should take necessary steps, like making the sensor board more strict. Boss did these kind of shows and parents should not give their children any digital gadget or accessory till the age of 16? In conclusion, the national TV news channels and the inappropriate media shows should be taken off or the government should take strict action against them.
Nowadays, if you are looking for information, you go for TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans except that the TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have an adverse effect on our daily routine. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
have an adverse effect on our daily lifestyle.
Firstly
, in the 21st century, everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "access".
an access
to the internet and can upload any fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
are believing
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
and this put a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
impression on them. The national TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel are getting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by the ruling Party leaders,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cannot speak against their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
. The public is getting fooled by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
which
is elected
by them in the past.
Secondly
, If we talked about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
they are showing mature content like murder theft rape drugs, violence to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, who will going to be the future of a Nation.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
are tender bird birds of the society. They grasp these things
first
, they act like gangsters and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
doing drugs.
Moreover
, if their parents scolded them for their unusual behavior. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
speaking at a high volume in front of them, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and the parents should take necessary steps, like making the sensor board more strict. Boss did
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
and parents should not give their children any digital gadget or accessory till the age of 16?
In conclusion
, the national TV
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channels and the inappropriate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
should
be taken
off or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should take strict action against them.
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IELTS essay Many people believe that TV news and media in general have a determinable effect on our life.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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