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WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF AND DESCRIBE HOW YOU DO THAT.

WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF AND DESCRIBE HOW YOU DO THAT. QR5qK
The surrounding us, we easily encounter many kinds of people such as: good people; bad people; lazy one; gentle one…et cetera. Virtues are learned and choosed by people. Everybody learn what they want to have and become what they want to be. In the process of growing up, we may change very much because we have numerous things that we want to change about ourself. In my point of view, I have so much things that I wish I can change like: my hair style; my body shape; improve my knowledge; control my emotions and so on. In the present, I just focus on control my attitude because I think deal with problems step by step will be better than solve all problems simultaneously. When you assume that you ought to solve some problems, the first and the most important step is reflection yourself. This step must be tough, inasmuch as confession your mistake and accountable for it like hardest thing in the world. We can realize other person’s mistake effortlessly therefore we can ask for help from someone else who trustworthy. For me, I will ask my mother for she love me and I trust her the most. Perhaps stranger; your friends; your cousin can cheat on you but you mother will be vice versa. For instance: I ask to my mother what thing that she want me to change then I receive and reflect myself. I am going to spend about thirty minutes to meditate. If mother’s advice is right, I will confess and plan for chaging. Steve Harvey one said: ‘Change your attitude will change your life. ’ It is the most motivating bridge for me to decide to change my life attitude. You always have trouble in your life, you can play hide and seek with them. Instead of doing nothing and ask God or Budha about why it happen to me, I prefer face with it. For example: Steve Harvey used to jobless when he was 26 years old but when he was 38, he had the first car in his life and now he is a well-know person in the whole world. The lesson is when you dare to face with problem, you belike a brightest light in hazy fog. You will be better and better day by day. Onedays, you will get everything that you want and you can talk to yourself like: ‘Good job, bae. Thank you. ’ That how you become successful person. The last things are persistence and patience with myself. I know that everything takes time so I do not urge myself to improve rapidly. What comes fast goes fast too. For example: A spring is needed concentrate to recoil. The tighter it is compressed, the stronger it will bounce. I believe that attitude is the most important character therefore I decide to change my attitude. I am going to do it step by step and take time. If you want to change something about you, you must reflect yourself then confess and have a plan to change. After that, all thing that you ought to do is be patient and persistent. That is about me, how about you?
The surrounding us, we
easily
encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
such as:
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
; lazy one; gentle one…
Possible spelling mistake found.
et cetera
. Virtues
are learned
and
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "chose", the past tense form of the verb 'choose'?
choosed
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Everybody
The pronoun 'Everybody' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "learns", "learned", "learnt".
learn
what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to have and become what they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to be. In the process of growing up, we may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
we have numerous things that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
about
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
ourself
. In my point of view, I have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
things that I wish I can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
like: my hair style; my body shape;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
my knowledge; control my emotions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the present, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
focus on control my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
deal with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
will be better than solve all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
simultaneously
.

When you assume that you ought to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, the
first
and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
is reflection yourself. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be tough, inasmuch as confession your mistake and accountable for it like hardest thing in the world. We can realize other person’s mistake
effortlessly
therefore
we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
from someone else who trustworthy. For me, I will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
for she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "loves", "loved".
love
me and I trust her the most. Perhaps stranger; your friends; your cousin can cheat on you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
will be vice versa.
For instance
: I
This is a collocation error. You do not need a preposition after 'ask'. Remove it: "ask".
ask to
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother
what thing that she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
me to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
then I receive and reflect myself. I am going to spend about thirty minutes to meditate. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mother’s
advice is right, I will confess and plan for
Possible spelling mistake found.
chaging
.

Steve Harvey one said: ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Change
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. ’ It is the most motivating bridge for me to decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
. You always have trouble in your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, you can play
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
hide and seek
with them.
Instead
of doing nothing and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ask
God or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Budha
about why it
Did you mean "happens"?
happen
to me, I prefer face with it.
For example
: Steve Harvey
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to jobless when he was 26 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when he was 38, he had the
first
car in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
he is a well-know person in the whole world. The lesson is when you dare to face with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, you
Possible spelling mistake found.
belike
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
brightest light in hazy fog. You will be better and better day by day.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Onedays
, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
everything that you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
and you can talk to yourself like: ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Good
job,
Possible spelling mistake found.
bae
. Thank you. ’ That how you become successful person.

The last things are persistence and patience with myself. I know that everything takes time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I do not urge myself to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
rapidly
. What
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
goes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
too.
For example
: A spring
is needed
concentrate to recoil. The tighter it
is compressed
, the stronger it will bounce.

I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
character
therefore
I decide to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attitude
. I am going to do it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
step
and take time. If you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
want
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
something about you, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
reflect yourself then confess and have a plan to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
. After that, all thing that you ought to do is be patient and persistent.
That is
about me, how about you?
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IELTS essay WRITE AN ESSAY ABOUT WHAT YOU WANT TO CHANGE ABOUT YOURSELF AND DESCRIBE HOW YOU DO THAT.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
530 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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