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Top four ideal s for the school holidays

Top four ideal s for the school holidays pK1xa
School holidays! What a jubilant word to every student! Undeniably, school holidays are the most awaited time among students. School holidays mean that students don’t need to wake up in the dark morning and release stress from all the school work. But How should students harness their school holiday hence it would become meaningful and memorable. In this rapid development of technology, Gen Z has become the beneficiaries who are living in this convenient and affluent environment. Hence, students nowadays are more oriented to staying at home and playing with their phones. A random survey from my several friends, they have claimed that they prefer staying at home and watching K-dramas, playing online games and keeping eyeballs glued to social media. Do you have the same desire? Otherwise, some of the students might utilise their school holiday on travelling. It is because during school time they are unable to travel for a long time. I would like to recommend four ideals for the school holidays to every student. First, we can use our free time to chat with our beloved family. Usually, we spent a lot of time in school. So we can utilize the moment to improve the relationship between you and your family. Besides that, you also can learn a skill during your leisure time. For instance, learning a foreign language, learning a musical instrument, baking and knitting. It is better than lying on your bed, keeping eyeball glue on your mobile phone in order to wait for the day to pass. Learning a new skill could let the student have more competition between the contemporary. Moreover, the ideal way for the school holiday is to plan a journey with the family. A journey doesn’t mean you must be a jet-set. It also can climb the mountain and enjoy the sunset, enjoy nature and enjoy the beautiful view. Like the Chinese proverb, ’ It is better to travel ten thousand miles than to read ten thousand books. ’According to the proverb, journals also bring benefits to students, they can learn the local culture and their language. Last but not least, students also could use their school holiday to reduce their parent’s burden such as doing the house chores. Also, let your parents breathe after they surfer during the busy work time. Therefore, as cherished children, we should dedicate our strength in order to let our parents relax while they come home. These ideals were important to the student because they can prevent students being engrossed with their phones hence contributing to having an enormous gap between them and their family because they lack communication with their family, also easy to have a conflict due to the generation gap. Communicating with family could solve the problem that you can’t solve by yourself. Since parents would give their mature opinion to guide you. Besides that, the ideals would let students possess the ability of self-discipline and can organise their time wisely. Instead, that could build an excellent personal and become more competitive with the people who take each day as it comes. To sum up, students should organise their school holiday wisely. Time flies in the blink of an eye. Although time is complimentary, it is priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. Hence, no matter you or I, we should utilize our time wisely since once you lose it, it can never give back. In a nutshell, we have no time to lose in this day and age especially in adolescence. It is never too late to mend.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
! What a jubilant word to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
!
Undeniably
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
are the most awaited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
don’t need to wake up in the dark morning and release
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
work.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
How should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
harness their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
hence
it would become meaningful and memorable.

In this rapid development of technology, Gen Z has become the beneficiaries who are living in this convenient and affluent environment.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
nowadays are more oriented to staying at home and playing with their phones. A random survey from my several friends, they have claimed that they prefer staying at home and watching K-dramas, playing online games and keeping eyeballs glued to social media. Do you have the same desire?
Otherwise
,
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
on travelling. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are unable to travel for a long time.

I would like to recommend four ideals for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holidays
to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
.
First
, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to chat with our beloved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Usually
, we spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we can
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilize
the moment to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the relationship between you and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Besides
that, you
also
can learn a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
during your leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
, learning a foreign language, learning a musical instrument, baking and knitting. It is better than lying on your bed, keeping eyeball glue on your mobile phone in order to wait for the day to pass. Learning a new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have more competition between the contemporary.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ideal
way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
is to plan a journey with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. A journey doesn’t mean you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be a jet-set. It
also
can climb the mountain and enjoy the sunset, enjoy nature and enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
view. Like the Chinese proverb,
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
’
It is better to travel ten thousand miles than to read ten thousand books. ’According to the proverb, journals
also
bring benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they can learn the local culture and their language. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
also
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent’s
burden such as doing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
chores.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
breathe after
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'they'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
they surfer
during the busy work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
, as cherished children, we should dedicate our strength in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
relax while they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
home.

These ideals were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
being engrossed
with their phones
hence
contributing to having an enormous gap between them and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they lack communication with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
,
also
easy to have a conflict due to the generation gap. Communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
could solve the problem that you can’t solve by yourself.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would give their mature opinion to guide you.
Besides
that, the ideals would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
possess the ability of self-discipline and can
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
.
Instead
, that could build an excellent personal and become more competitive with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who take each day as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
holiday
wisely
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
flies in the blink of an eye. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is complimentary, it is priceless. You can’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it.
Hence
, no matter you or I, we should
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilize' and 'utilise') within a single text.
utilize
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
wisely
since once you lose it, it can never give back. In a nutshell, we have no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to lose in this day and age
especially
in adolescence. It is never too late to mend.
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IELTS essay Top four ideal s for the school holidays

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
592 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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