Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

some parents grow their childrenin strict decipline while others leqve them free to learn lesson of lives on their own. Which is one of these is a better approach and why? Give your own opinion

some parents grow their childrenin strict decipline while others leqve them free to learn lesson of lives on their own. Which is one of these is a better approach and why? Give your own opinion 3bBed
Every parent has their own way to grow their children whether intruding in their life and teach them discipline or leave them alone to learn the lesson from the daily life experiences. Both viewpoints have their own merits and demerits, but in my opinion, parents should intervene the lives of their children, when they are in growing stages of life and teach them some rules of the life which the parents have already learned from their intense life experience. Discipline is an indispensable trade in the life of human being and especially when it comes to children. Who are the next generation after you to take the lead of the country in many areas of life. So in the context parents play a pivotal role in the life of the children by let them know the basic rules of life and guide them at every step of life. They could not easily trap by the culprits and stay on the right course of the life. For instance, I myself is the best example to be fitted in this context. At the age of 32, I can now realize all the guidelines given by my parents and their intervention till teenage make me a good person. However, after the phase of teenage, we should leave the children alone to learn from the life themselves. At this stage of life, they are mature enough and can easily distinguish between good and bad for their lives. Leave them alone to learn the lessons from the real world and be so adaptable to face every challenge in the life and implement the rules ingrained in their brains by their parents. Therefore, little intervention is required to teach discipline to the children during teenage and after that leave them to face circumstances. So they could face the situation and revert accordingly by following the rules learned by their parents.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parent
has
'Each', 'every', 'either' and 'neither' are used with singular and thus take a singular pronoun: "his", "her", "his or her", "its"
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way to grow their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
whether intruding in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and teach them discipline or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
them alone to learn the lesson from the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experiences. Both viewpoints have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should intervene the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, when they are in growing stages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have already learned from their intense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
experience.

Discipline is an indispensable trade in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of human being and
especially
when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Who are the
next
generation after you to take the lead of the country in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
in the context
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
play a pivotal role in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them know the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and guide them at every step of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They could not
easily
trap by the culprits and stay on the right course of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
, I myself is the best example to
be fitted
in this context. At the age of 32, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
realize all the guidelines
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their intervention till teenage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
me a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
person.

However
, after the phase of teenage, we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
alone to learn from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
themselves. At this stage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and can
easily
distinguish between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Leave
them alone to learn the lessons from the real world and be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
adaptable to face every challenge in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and implement the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
ingrained in their brains by their parents.

Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
intervention
is required
to teach discipline to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
during teenage and after that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leave
them to face circumstances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they could face the situation and revert
accordingly
by following the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
learned by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay some parents grow their childrenin strict decipline while others leqve them free to learn lesson of lives on their own. Which is one of these is a better approach and why? Give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts