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Write an essay about a race or other competition you have taken part in.

Write an essay about a race or other competition you have taken part in. PRKYw
Health is one of the issues that people all over the world take care of a lot. In VietNam, we have many competitions for all ages to improve their health such as running, swimming, volleyball. When I studied in high school, I participated in a race competition which made me feel positive and I shall narrate the competition in this essay. To begin with, running is a sport which can help many people develop their mental wellness. In recent research, people who usually run regularly per week will have a longer lifespan than others who do not practice it every day which shows we realized running is good for everyone’s health. When I took part in a race competition, I was nervous because I saw other competitors do their competition fantastic, however, my colleague encouraged us not to be anxious, thus it would affect my mind and so I could not have a good performance. After a minute, I calmed down and determined to achieve a result which is flying colors. Next, I start to prepare sports equipment such as shoes, socks, knee pads and I go down to the preparation area. To begin the competition, we will be given competition rules by the referees which will help us not to be infringed, besides, also able to do well in the competition. Each round, there will be 5 contestants running along the line which they are allowed to run with a distance of 100m. When we heard the shot from the referees, we were only allowed to start the contest. Who has the fastest second will be the winner. And that time I was lucky to get a silver medal with a time of more than 10 seconds. In conclusion, in my perspective, running brings many benefits to people from health to competitions so that numerous people can develop and train themselves more in the future. Besides, I encourage people to run three or four times to improve their physical and can achieve more in their work.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
is one of the issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
all over the world take care of a lot. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
VietNam
, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
for all ages to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
, swimming, volleyball. When I studied in high school, I participated in a race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
which made me feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and I shall narrate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in this essay.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
is a sport which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop their mental wellness. In recent research,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
usually
run
regularly
per week will have a longer lifespan than others who do not practice it every day which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
we realized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for everyone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. When I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
took part
in a race
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, I was nervous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
other competitors do their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
fantastic,
however
, my colleague encouraged us not to be anxious,
thus
it would affect my
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
mind and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I could not have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance. After a minute, I calmed down and determined to achieve a result which is flying colors.
Next
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to prepare sports equipment such as shoes, socks, knee pads and I go down to the preparation area.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, we will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
by the referees which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us not to
be infringed
,
besides
,
also
able to do well in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
. Each round, there will be 5 contestants
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
along the line which they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to run with a distance of
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "100 m"
100m
. When we heard the shot from the referees, we were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the contest.
“Who” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Who
has the fastest second will be the winner. And that time I was lucky to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a silver medal with a time of more than 10 seconds.

In conclusion
, in my perspective,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
running
brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can develop and train themselves more in the future.
Besides
, I encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to run three or four times to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their physical and can achieve more in their work.
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IELTS essay Write an essay about a race or other competition you have taken part in.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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