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Is Online Store replace the physical store in the future?

Is Online Store replace the physical store in the future? eAkVK
In the modern world, most of the community are preferred to purchase the products from online e-commerce. Whereas a number of people still adopt the physical stores for the spending. In this essay, I will argue the both point of views and give my opinion. Most of the younger generation people are purchasing the goods from the online stores like Amazon. com and AliExpress. com. These people are strongly believed that online e-commerce is giving global experience whereas local stores are focus on local customers. In addition, they think in particular local fashion and apparel stores are selling outdated designs. On the other hand, virtual stores and shops sale latest trends. However, the purchasing power of these category people are lesser than middle age people or earning people. consequently online e-commerce are not completely dominate the real stores sales. Whereas in the near feature when these people are become the main stream of buyers they could pick online shopping rather than physical stores. On the other hand, people who prefer to buy in physical stores argues that luxury brand s looks and feel of the products can not be replaced with the virtual store. Even though technologies are rapidly advancing, they strongly believe that physical stores are co-exists with virtual stores in the near future. To sum up, a number of society are believed virtual stores are the best place to buy and get good deals, also the prices are cheaper compare to physical stores. Whereas opponent people are believe physical stores are the place to buy the products, In my opinion, in the near future the online stores will dominate the market.
In the modern world, most of the community
are preferred
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the products from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
e-commerce. Whereas a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
adopt the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
for the spending. In this essay, I will argue the both point of views and give my opinion.

Most of the younger generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are purchasing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
like Amazon.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
and AliExpress.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
com
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
strongly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
e-commerce is giving global experience whereas local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are focus on local customers.
In addition
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in particular
local fashion and apparel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are selling outdated designs.
On the other hand
, virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
and shops sale
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
trends.
However
, the purchasing power of these category
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lesser than middle age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
or earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
e-commerce are not completely dominate the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
sales. Whereas in the near feature when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are become
the main stream of buyers they could pick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
stores.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
argues that luxury brand s looks and feel of the products can not
be replaced
with the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
store
.
Even though
technologies are
rapidly
advancing, they
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are co-exists with virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
in the near future.

To sum up, a number of society
are believed
virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are the best place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
deals,
also
the prices are cheaper compare to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
. Whereas opponent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
are the place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the products, In my opinion, in the near future the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
will dominate the market.
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IELTS essay Is Online Store replace the physical store in the future?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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