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Write about the following topic: Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology r v.1

: Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology r v. 1
Physical education is one of the important subjects for youngsters' development. Some people argue that it is a parent's duty to make sure their children workout at home, and educational institutes should not waste their vital time on it. In my opinion, I believe that both parents and teachers should work together to keep students healthy. In this essay, I will discuss why parents and school are both essential. To begin with, it is the duty of parents to take care of their children's health. They are not only a role model, but also the first teacher in the child’s life. So that the parents should spend time with children to do activity, and cultivate them interested in exercise. For example, during the weekend, parents should arrange some activities with their child that are critical for health growth and parent-child relationship. On the other hand, students spend the majority of their time in school. Making sports as part of school subjects or curriculum will help them to relieve the stress. Furthermore, they have a positive attitude towards learning these skills and discipline in school. If the teacher emphasizes the importance of exercise, physical games and so on, then students would pick up those naturally and comfortably. For instance, I remember that when I was in school, I mastered yoga when my teacher motivated me to practice it at school with other classmates. In conclusion, I would argue that in order to keep the children fit and healthy, both the parents as well as school work hand in hand.
Physical education is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects for youngsters' development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that it is a parent's duty to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure their children workout at home, and educational institutes should not waste their vital time on it. In my opinion, I believe that both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should work together to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
students healthy. In this essay, I will discuss why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are both essential.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is the duty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to take care of their children's health. They are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a role model,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
in the child’s life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should spend time with children to do activity, and cultivate them interested in exercise.
For example
, during the weekend,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should arrange
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities with their child that are critical for health growth and parent-child relationship.

On the other hand
, students spend the majority of their time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. Making sports as part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
subjects or curriculum will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to relieve the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
.
Furthermore
, they have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attitude towards learning these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and discipline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
emphasizes the importance of exercise, physical games and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, then students would pick up those
naturally
and
comfortably
.
For instance
, I remember that when I was in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, I mastered yoga when my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
motivated me to practice it at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
with other classmates.

In conclusion
, I would argue that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the children fit and healthy, both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
work hand in hand.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay : Labour-saving devices such as dishwashers and communication tools such as computers are supposed to make our lives easier. However, some people argue that these devices only make them more difficult. Does modern technology r v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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