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write about sightseeing holiday

write about sightseeing holiday XED8A
I love my country and It is very beautiful. I have a dream that I can travel to 63 provinces in Vietnam so I often travel with my family in my holiday. Each province has its own iconic scenic spots. I often go there to enjoy the scenery and take pictures to keep memories. My family doesn’t go on a tour. We had to figure out everything about place where we are going to. When traveling short distances, I always prioritize riding a motorbike. Because it is both convenient and cost-effective. On the contrary, when traveling long distances, we prefer to go by train. Because it's cheaper than the plane and not very far from the city center. I have visited many beautiful landscapes such as Da Dia Reef, Mang Lang Church, Notre Dame Cathedral, Ponagar Tower, Hoi An Ancient Town, Ho Dynasty Citadel, etc. Thanks to traveling like this, I have learned a lot of interesting things. The scenic spots, the roads that I only saw through TV or books now appear in front of me very real. Going to the place to see for myself broadened my knowledge. And most importantly, I get to see the beautiful scenery of my country with my family.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
my country and It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
. I have a dream that I can travel to 63 provinces in Vietnam
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
travel with my family in my holiday.

Each province has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
iconic scenic spots. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
go there to enjoy the scenery and take pictures to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
memories. My family doesn’t go on a tour. We had to figure out everything about place where we are going to.

When traveling short distances, I always prioritize riding a motorbike.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it is both convenient and cost-effective.
On the contrary
, when traveling long distances, we prefer to go by train.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
it's cheaper than the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from the city center.

I have visited
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Da
Possible spelling mistake found.
Dia
Reef,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mang
Lang Church, Notre Dame Cathedral,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ponagar
Tower,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hoi
An Ancient Town, Ho Dynasty Citadel, etc.

Thanks to traveling like this, I have learned
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
interesting things. The scenic spots, the roads that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
through TV or books
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
appear in front of me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
real. Going to the place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
for myself broadened my knowledge. And most
importantly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scenery of my country with my family.
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IELTS essay write about sightseeing holiday

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
206 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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