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Sone people say that history is important and other day science is important? Discussion both views and give your opinion

Sone people say that history is important and other day science is important? Discussion both views and give your opinion wxKq3
There is a heated debate about the fact whether history is imperative or it is science and technology that has more honour. Certain masses favouring importance of history related subject whereas others showing their respect towards science and technology. Hence, this essay is an attempt of discussing both schools of thought; however, I am of the opinion that in this digital era, science holds more water. On one hand, former view is correct in the opinion of masses owing to a few benefits. The first and foremost is, history teaches school-goers to grab knowledge and information about their custom, culture, creed and religion. In-brief, it is history that enables students to respect their elders and cultural heritage. The second cogent aspect is, by reading history, the young generation can be inculcated with an enthusiasm of gaining knowledge about their historical monuments as well as wars having bravery and valour. For instance, in Ferozepur, a shrine is there named as Saragarhi that is associated with historical battle of Saragarhi and due to this shrine, the youth has been instilled with respect towards martyrs. On the other hand, I believe, later view has more importance since science has become need of the hour in this revolutionized era. In the beginning, science is a platform that has provided plethora of opportunities to the people even in this cut-throat competitive world. More specifically, modern era is witnessing a dramatic rise in computer sciences and information technology and in these streams, millions of students are mushrooming their careers. Besides this, technological giants named as Apple Inc. , Facebook, Tesla and Google are inviting brilliant minds in computer coding owing to which it is being said that science and technology has become a warehouse of jobs. Last but not the least, space exploration is also booming with each passing day where Aeronautical Engineering and Physics are mandatory which are based of science and technology. To conclude, though significance of history can never ever be overlooked since history is window to the past but in this technological era science and technology has become absolute need.
There is a heated debate about the fact whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is imperative or it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
that has more
Possible spelling mistake. 'honour' is British English.
honour
. Certain masses
Possible spelling mistake. 'favouring' is British English.
favouring
importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
related subject whereas others showing their respect towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Hence
, this essay is an attempt of discussing both schools of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
;
however
, I am of the opinion that in this digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
holds more water.

On one hand, former view is correct in the opinion of masses owing to a few benefits. The
first
and foremost is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
teaches school-goers to grab knowledge and information about their custom, culture, creed and religion. In-brief, it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
that enables students to respect their elders and cultural heritage. The second cogent aspect is, by reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
, the young generation can
be inculcated
with an enthusiasm of gaining knowledge about their historical monuments
as well
as wars having bravery and
Possible spelling mistake. 'valour' is British English.
valour
.
For instance
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ferozepur
, a shrine is there named as
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saragarhi
that
is associated
with historical battle of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Saragarhi
and due to this shrine, the youth has
been instilled
with respect towards martyrs.

On the other hand
, I believe, later view has more importance since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has become need of the hour in this revolutionized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
. In the beginning,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is a platform that has provided plethora of opportunities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even in this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-throat competitive world. More
specifically
, modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
is witnessing a dramatic rise in computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sciences
and information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and in these streams, millions of students are mushrooming their careers.
Besides
this, technological giants named as Apple Inc.
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
Facebook, Tesla and Google are inviting brilliant minds in computer coding owing to which it is
being said
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become a warehouse of jobs. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, space exploration is
also
booming with each passing
It is better to use 'day' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "day when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
day where
Aeronautical Engineering and Physics are mandatory which
are based
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and technology.

To conclude
, though significance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can never ever
be overlooked
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is window to the past
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this technological
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become absolute need.
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IELTS essay Sone people say that history is important and other day science is important? Discussion both views and give your opinion

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
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  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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