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Write about a special gift I gave or received

Write about a special gift I gave or received ABpRx
Every year on my birthday, I always receive a lot of presents from my friends and family. But the most special gift I had ever received wasn’t exactly gifted on my birthday. It was weeks after one of the biggest exams in my life had ended, when I had received all the results. My dad asked me if I wanted to have a motorbike, I though he just asked for fun so I said yes. The next day, he showed me various models and it took us quite a while to choose the perfect I like. After that, we decided to go to a showroom to see the motorbike in real life. But the tragic really came to life when the manager said that model had sold out. When we heard that we were really disappointed. Just as we were about to give up, my dad’s friend text him and said he had found the model that we want. So we imidiately bought it and finally, I got my first vehicle ever in my life. The process was very challenging but in the end, it was a happy ending for both me and my dad. I really appreciate this big gift from my dad. I hope I could take him out somewhere on my motorbiketo show him how much I cherish this gift of him.
Every year on my birthday, I always receive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
presents from my friends and family.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the most special gift I had ever received wasn’t exactly gifted on my birthday.

It was weeks after one of the biggest exams in my life had ended, when I had received all the results. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
asked me if I wanted to have a motorbike, I
Did you mean "thought"?
though
he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
asked for
fun
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I said yes. The
next
day, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
me various models and it took us quite a while to choose the perfect I like. After that, we decided to go to a showroom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the motorbike in real life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
the tragic
really
came to life when the manager said that model had sold out.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
we heard that we were
really
disappointed.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
as we were about to give up, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad’s
friend text him and said he had found the model that we want.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
we
Possible spelling mistake found.
imidiately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it and
finally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
my
first
vehicle ever in my life.

The process was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, it was a happy ending for both me and my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
. I
really
appreciate this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
gift from my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dad
. I hope I could take him out somewhere on my
Possible spelling mistake found.
motorbiketo
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
him how much I cherish this gift of him.
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IELTS essay Write about a special gift I gave or received

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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