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A school policy that you agree with or disagree with

A school policy that you agree with or disagree with LBlR6
One of the policies in school that I agree with is students have to wear uniforms and I will support my view for a few reasons. Firstly, the school uniform is reportedly a symbol of equality. This is shown by the uniformity of colors, designs and materials. It would seem that wearing uniform help students avoid the wealth gap. Moreover, there seem to be some evidence that school uniforms contribute to make a reduction in bullying. For instance, the school which strictly enforce the uniform policies experience fewer incidence of bullying as potential bullies find it harder to identify their targets. Another reason to point out is that school uniforms enhance school pride. Students are allegedly feeling of belonging to a bigger community when they wear uniform. There is every likelihood that this outfit provides students with a sense of unity which brings a bond that allows them to feel closer and more connected. It cultivates spirit of teamwork and allows students to see the value of collective team effort rather than the individual. To sum up, wearing school uniform is an equality symbol which deters wealth gap and bullying. It also raises the school pridefulness and the cooperativeness
One of the policies in
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school
that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with is
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students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
wear
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uniforms
and I will support my view for a few reasons.

Firstly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is reportedly a symbol of equality. This
is shown
by the uniformity of colors, designs and materials. It would seem that wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
avoid the wealth gap.
Moreover
, there seem to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
evidence that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
contribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a reduction in bullying.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
which
strictly
enforce the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
policies experience fewer incidence of bullying as potential bullies find it harder to identify their targets. Another reason to point out is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniforms
enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
pride.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
are allegedly feeling of belonging to a bigger community when they wear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
. There is every likelihood that this outfit provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a sense of unity which brings a bond that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to feel closer and more connected. It cultivates spirit of teamwork and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the value of collective team effort
rather
than the individual.

To sum up, wearing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
uniform
is an equality symbol which deters wealth gap and bullying. It
also
raises the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
Possible spelling mistake found.
pridefulness
and the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
cooperativeness

IELTS essay A school policy that you agree with or disagree with

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
198 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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