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write a report about the survey of family life

write a report about the survey of family life RVMq8
This survey has opened to us more about the six students' family life. Out of six students, three students are living in extended families. The others said that they were a part of a nuclear family. Those students who live in an extended family all love the fact that they can share chores and live with their grandparents; however, what they dislike about this kind of family is that they do not have enough privacy. Meanwhile, students who live in nuclear families all agree that they have more personal space and due to the small gaps between the members of the family, they are more close-knit and can easily understand each other. Besides, they also discussed the condition of a woman in a nuclear family. They said that her condition was better than what she was in an extended family and she could get enough time to look after her children. However, the drawbacks of living in a nuclear are feeling lonely and not being connected enough to one another. All students have working parents. And their parents all know how to balance work and parenting. They said that the best way to balance these things was to work effectively in the company; therefore, they could spend more time with their children by doing chores together, hanging out, and chatting. There are only two interviewees that do not spend at least one hour a day doing household chores. They all agree that children should do housework since they can benefit a lot from them. Firstly, children will feel they are a part of the family and it makes them more responsible. Moreover, household chores are effective exercises to have a healthier body and mind. Last but not least, they can build a cheerful atmosphere in the family. There is only one student that does not have her parents' help with household chores. All six students have the same opinion that parents should help their children with housework because by doing so, they can get closer to each other, be happier, and share chores equally. Everyone in my survey is living in an ideal family. It is hard to definite what is an ideal family is. However, they all come to a point of view that an ideal family is fulfilled by love, comfort, and cheers, the husband listens to the wife, the parents are loyal and the children are obedient; moreover, none of the family members involves in health issues.
This survey has opened to us more about the six students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
life.

Out of six
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students
, three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are living in extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
. The others said that they were a part of a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in an extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
the fact that they can share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their grandparents;
however
, what they dislike about this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is that they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
privacy. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they have more personal space and due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
gaps between the members of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
, they are more close-knit and can
easily
understand each other.
Besides
, they
also
discussed the condition of a woman in a nuclear
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. They said that her condition was better than what she was in an extended
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
family and
she could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time to look after her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
However
, the drawbacks of living in a nuclear are feeling lonely and not
being connected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to one another.

All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
. And their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
all know how to balance work and parenting. They said that the best way to balance these things was to work
effectively
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
;
therefore
, they could spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
together, hanging out, and chatting.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
two interviewees that do not spend at least one hour a day doing household chores.

They all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should do housework since they can benefit a lot from them.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will feel they are a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more responsible.
Moreover
, household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
are effective exercises to have a healthier body and mind. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, they can build a cheerful atmosphere in the family.

There is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
that does not have her parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
with household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
. All six
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have the same opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with housework
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
closer to each other, be happier, and share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chores
equally
.

Everyone in my survey is living in an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
what is an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is.
However
, they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a point of view that an ideal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is fulfilled
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, comfort, and cheers, the husband listens to the wife, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are loyal and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are obedient;
moreover
, none of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members involves in health issues.
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IELTS essay write a report about the survey of family life

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
410 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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