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Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave

Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave RVMGp
It is considered that, older people have a more traditional idea about the way to live and behaviour are not helpful to young generation. According to my perspective. These days, senior citizen have a more experience as compared to young people. I partially agree with this statement I will discuss both view of point in the forthcoming paragraph. To commence with, there are a numerous of factor to support my point that is why I think, nowadays, there is extremely Limited access to current Technology for the older generation yet they live very happy and healthy life. Older people have a more knowledge about traditional Idea and experience due to the fact that they read and work proper in their life. Additionally, senior citizen always suggest the youth how to behave with family and connect with each other. People ignore them as they feel comfortable with the electronic device. They does not know the human relationship. For example can be seen and various article of time of India which showed that, these days, new generation not devote time with family and friends they mostly used electronic device that time they feel comfortable and happy. On the other hand, there are multi various reasons why I think, in contemporary period, young generation have more knowledge about Science and Technology. They do not face difficulty about work and study in job. Youth easily complete their work due to the fact the use new software. It is a very useful for youth. For instant in United Kingdom a young generation invent a new software it is a very helpful in your life. According to my opinion, they are a plethora reason I think, nowadays, older people have a more knowledge and experience as compared to youth. 10 decade ago that time older people do not use electronic device that time people conversation face-to-face and meet new people and give new knowledge about work. In conclusion, although, nowadays traditional Idea and new idea all are helpful in a future. With the help of older people, new generation to achieve their goal and dream in their future.
It
is considered
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a more traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
about the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
are not helpful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation. According to my perspective. These days, senior citizen have a more experience as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement I will discuss both view of point in the forthcoming paragraph.

To commence with, there are
The phrase 'a numerous of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a numerous of
factor to support my point
that is
why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, nowadays, there is
extremely
Limited access to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
Technology for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation
yet
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy and healthy life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Idea
and experience due to the fact that they read and work proper in their life.
Additionally
, senior citizen always suggest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
how to behave with family and connect with each other.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them as they feel comfortable with the electronic device. They
Possible agreement error -- use base form here: "do".
does
not know the human relationship.
For example
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and various article of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
of India which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, these days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation not devote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family and friends they
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
electronic device that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they feel comfortable and happy.

On the other hand
, there are multi various reasons why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, in contemporary period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about Science and Technology. They do not face difficulty about work and study in job.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Youth
easily
complete their work due to the fact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
software. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. For instant
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United Kingdom".
in United Kingdom
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
young
generation invent a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
software it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful in your life.

According to my opinion, they are a plethora reason I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and experience as compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
. 10 decade ago that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic device that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
conversation face-to-face and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about work.

In conclusion
, although, nowadays traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Idea
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
idea
all are helpful in a future. With the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
generation to achieve their goal and dream in their future.
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IELTS essay Traditional ideas from older people about the way to live and behave

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
352 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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