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Write a passage of about 120-150 words about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city

Write a passage of about 120-150 words about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city dD9r7
Nowadays, more and more people choose to live in the city. In this essay, I will discuss about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city. It can't be denied that living in the city has many benefits. First of all, if we live in the city, we will have many chances get the developing science and technology. It means that we will have more job opportunities and broaden our knowledge more easily. Secondly, we will have many different ways to spend our free time. There are a lot of theatres, concerts and other kinds of entertainment. There is always a lot to do and visit There are a lot of possibilities of shopping. In various shopping centres and galleries you can buy whatever you want. What is more, a big city is a potential market for trading activities, so we can earn more money to provide our family a comfortable life Besides advantages, living in the city brings to us a lot of disadvantages. Firstly, a problem about which everyone is worrying is environment. The increase of factories based on industrialization and modernization has severely polluted environment. Smoke from factories' chimneys not only pollutes the air but also makes people get many serious cancers. Sewage is bumped into rivers without being purged, which threatens underwater ecosystems. The second drawback of living in the city is society's vices such as drug addiction. Young people. especially the students, are easily spoiled by bad habits. If people use up all the money, they can't control themselves and even become robbers or murders. Moreover, a problem that many people living in the city have is heartlessness. With some people, it's not worth being worried and it has no effect on our life, people are too busy to care for any others. But if more and more people become heartless, the society will be worse, no one cares another one, they live boring lives, every purposes became meaningless, without love, sympathy and many other good things. There are good things as well as bad thing of living in the city. However, I strongly believed that advantages outweigh disadvantages. If people know how to live and enjoy their life, living in the city is one of the most interesting things that people want to experience.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
choose to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city. In this essay, I will
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
advantages and disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city.

It can't
be denied
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city, we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
chances
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the developing science and technology. It means that we will have more job opportunities and broaden our knowledge more
easily
.
Secondly
, we will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to spend our free time. There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatres' is British English.
theatres
, concerts and other kinds of entertainment. There is always a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
to do and visit There are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of possibilities of shopping. In various shopping
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
and galleries you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
whatever you want.
What is more
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city is a potential market for trading activities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
we can earn more money to provide our family a comfortable
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
life


Besides
advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city brings to us a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of disadvantages.
Firstly
, a problem about which everyone is worrying is environment. The increase of factories based on industrialization and modernization has
severely
polluted environment. Smoke from factories' chimneys not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pollutes the air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious cancers. Sewage
is bumped
into rivers without
being purged
, which threatens underwater ecosystems. The second drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city is society's vices such as drug addiction. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
especially
the students, are
easily
spoiled by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
up all the money, they can't control themselves and even become robbers or murders.
Moreover
, a problem that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city have is heartlessness. With
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it's not worth
being worried
and it has no effect on our life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too busy to care for any others.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become heartless, the society will be worse, no one cares another one, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
boring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
, every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "purpose"?
purposes
became meaningless, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, sympathy and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.

There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
thing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city.
However
, I
strongly
believed that advantages outweigh disadvantages. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
and enjoy their life,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
living
in the city is one of the most interesting things that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to experience.
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IELTS essay Write a passage of about 120-150 words about the advantages and disadvantages of living in the city

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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