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Tourism development surely brings many benefits, but at the same time it also causes many problems.

Tourism development surely brings many benefits, but at the same time it also causes many problems. XollA
It is true that the tourism industry has been a prosperous sector in many countries because of its enormous profits. While tourism has positive impacts on the national economy, it also causes detrimental effects on the culture and landscape as well. From my perspective, the pros and cons of the travel industry are equally considerable. On top of that, tourism brings three primary benefits that significantly enhance individuals’ satisfaction and economic growth. First of all, tourist destinations provide the holidaymakers with sublime scenery, comfortable accommodation and cultural activities which enable them to recharge their batteries and moreover experience a different cultural diversity. Second, tourism makes a great contribution to job opportunities. It is because the annual flock of people to a place demands a great deal of goods and services such as restaurants, hotels, shopping centers and so on. Therefore, it creates various occupations suitable for the native residents and the living patterns in those tourist attractions. Third, there would be development in community infrastructure thanks to the travel industry. In other words, there will be higher investments in public transportation, security system and so on to come up to the travellers’ satisfaction. For this reason, the inhabitants’ living standard would be generally enhanced. On the other hand, it is undeniable that tourists do have negative impacts on the destinations. The excessive number of holidaymakers puts high pressure on the surroundings. For instance, air pollution is inevitable in high peak season due to exhaust fumes from long-distance travelers and natural inhabitats are alarmingly damaged due to the overwhelming of eco-tourism. Also, tourism poses a threat to cultural values in a country as it requires the local to give up their ordinary jobs to work in the travel industry. This results in the loss of customs and traditions in some tourist destinations. Another drawback of tourist industry is an increase in the cost of living. It means that there are heavier taxes on public transits or healthcare service and eventually the natives are forced to pay more expense in resources that used to be reasonable. To sum up, tourism development plays a pivotal role in many countries as it could considerably alter the economy. Holidaymakers are encouraged to be responsible to where they travel to to minimize the destruction of landscape and life cycle of the native residents
It is true that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has been a prosperous sector in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its enormous profits. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on the national economy, it
also
causes detrimental effects on the culture and landscape
as well
. From my perspective, the pros and cons of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
are
equally
considerable.

On top of that
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
brings three primary benefits that
significantly
enhance individuals’ satisfaction and economic growth.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations provide the holidaymakers with sublime scenery, comfortable accommodation and cultural activities which enable them to recharge their batteries and
moreover
experience a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultural diversity. Second,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a great contribution to job opportunities. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the annual flock of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to a place demands a great deal of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and services such as restaurants, hotels, shopping centers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Therefore
, it creates various occupations suitable for the native residents and the living patterns in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
attractions. Third, there would be development in community infrastructure thanks to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
In other words
, there will be higher investments in public transportation, security system and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
’ satisfaction.
For this reason
, the inhabitants’ living standard would be
generally
enhanced.

On the other hand
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
do have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts on the destinations. The excessive number of holidaymakers puts high pressure on the surroundings.
For instance
, air pollution is inevitable in high peak season due to exhaust fumes from long-distance travelers and natural
Possible spelling mistake found.
inhabitats
are
alarmingly
damaged due to the overwhelming of
Possible spelling mistake found.
eco-tourism
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
poses a threat to cultural values in a country as it requires the local to give up their ordinary jobs to work in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
. This results in the loss of customs and traditions in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
destinations. Another drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is an increase in the cost of living. It means that there are heavier taxes on public transits or healthcare service and
eventually
the natives
are forced
to pay more expense in resources that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to be reasonable.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
development plays a pivotal role in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries as it could
considerably
alter the economy. Holidaymakers
are encouraged
to be responsible to where they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Possible typo: you repeated a word
to to
minimize the destruction of landscape and life cycle of the native
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
residents
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IELTS essay Tourism development surely brings many benefits, but at the same time it also causes many problems.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
386 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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